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with myths and
legends； to turn my back on the human world。 Maybe
No。 Nothing would happen to Jacob。 I had to believe that or I wouldn't be able
to function。
〃Argh！〃 I groaned； and jumped off the log。 I couldn't sit still； it was worse
than pacing。
I'd really been counting on hearing Edward this morning。 It seemed like that
was the one thing that might
make it bearable to live through this day。 The hole had been festering lately；
like it was getting revenge for
the times that Jacob's presence had tamed it。 The edges burned。
The waves picked up as I paced； beginning to crash against the rocks； but
there was still no wind。 I felt
pinned down by the pressure of the storm。 Everything swirled around me； but it
was perfectly still where I
stood。 The air had a faint electric charge—I could feel the static in my
hair。
Farther out； the waves were angrier than they were along the shore。 I could
see them battering against the
line of the cliffs； spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky。 There
was still no movement in the
air； though the clouds roiled more quickly now。 It was eerie looking—like the
clouds were moving by
their own will。 I shivered； though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure。
The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky。 Staring at them； I
remembered the day Jacob had
told me about Sam and his 〃gang。〃 I thought of the boys—the werewolves—
throwing themselves into the
empty air。 The image of the falling； spiraling figures was still vivid in my
mind。 I imagined the utter freedom
of the fall I imagined the way Edward's voice would have sounded in my head
—furious； velvet；
perfect The burning in my chest flared agonizingly。
There had to be some way to quench it。 The pain was growing more and more
intolerable by the second。
I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves。
Well； why not？ Why not quench it right now？
Jacob had promised me cliff diving； hadn't he？ Just because he was
unavailable； should I have to give up
the distraction I needed so badly—needed even worse because Jacob was out
risking his life？ Risking it；
in essence； for me。 If it weren't for me； Victoria would not be killing people
here just somewhere else；
far away。 If anything happened to Jacob； it would be my fault。 That
realization stabbed deep and had me
jogging back up to the road toward Billy's house； where my truck waited。
I knew my way to the lane that passed closest to the cliffs； but I had to hunt
for the little path that would
take me out to the ledge。 As I followed it； I looked for turns or forks；
knowing that Jake had planned to
take me off the lower outcropping rather than the top； but the path wound in a
thin single line toward the
brink with no options。 I didn't have time to find another way down—the storm
was moving in quickly
now。 The wind was finally beginning to touch me； the clouds pressing closer to
the ground。 Just as I
reached the place where the dirt path fanned out into the stone precipice； the
first drops broke through
and splattered on my face。
It was not hard to convince myself that I didn't have time to search for
another way—I wanted to jump
from the top。 This was the image that had lingered in my head。 I wanted the
long fall that would feel like
flying。
I knew that this was the stupidest； most reckless thing I had done yet。 The
thought made me smile。 The
pain was already easing； as if my body knew that Edward's voice was just
seconds away
The ocean sounded very far away； somehow farther than before； when I was on
the path in the trees。 I
grimaced when I thought of the probable temperature of the water。 But I wasn't
going to let that stop me。
The wind blew stronger now； whipping the rain into eddies around me。
I stepped out to the edge； keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me。
My toes felt ahead blindly；
caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it。 I drew in a deep
breath and held it 。 。 waiting。
〃Bella。〃
I smiled and exhaled。
Yes？ I didn't answer out loud； for fear that the sound of my voice would
shatter the beautiful illusion。 He
sounded so real； so close。 It was only when lie was disapproving like this
that I could hear the true
memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made
up the most perfect of all
voices。
〃Don't do this；〃 he pleaded。
You wanted me to be human； I reminded him。 Well； watch me。
〃Please。 For me。〃
But you won't stay with me any other way。
〃Please。〃 It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and
drenched my clothes—making
me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day。
I rolled up onto the balls of my feet。
〃No； Bella！〃 He was angry now； and the anger was so lovely。
I smiled and raised my arms straight out； as if I were going to dive； lifting
my face into the rain。 But it was
too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool—feet first； first
time。 I leaned forward； crouching
to get more spring
And I flung myself off the cliff。
I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor； but it was a
scream of exhilaration and not
fear。 The wind resisted； trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity；
pushing against me and twirling
me in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth。
Yes！ The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the
water。 It was icy； colder
than I'd feared； and yet the chill only added to the high。
I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water。 I
hadn't had one moment of
terror—just pure adrenaline。 Really； the fall wasn't scary at all。 Where was
the challenge？
That was when the current caught me。
I'd been so preoccupied by the size of the cliffs； by the obvious danger of
their high； sheer faces； that I
hadn't worried at all about the dark water waiting。 I never dreamed that the
true menace was lurking far
below me； under the heaving surf。
It felt like the waves were fighting over me； jerking me back and forth
between them as if determined to
share by pulling me into halves。 I knew the righ