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and I could suddenly see the symmetry underlying her deformity。 Her face was
still beautiful； and alive
with a concern even more fierce than mine。 I had to look away； before the love
behind that concern
could start me aching again。
〃Food's ready；〃 she announced then； and the strategic conversation was
history。 The guys hurried to
surround the table—which looked tiny and in danger of being crushed by them—
and devoured the
buffet…sized pan of eggs Emily placed in their midst in record time。 Emily ate
leaning against the counter
like me—avoiding the bedlam at the table—and watched them with affectionate
eyes。 Her expression
clearly stated that this was her family。
All in all； it wasn't exactly what I'd been expecting from a pack of
werewolves。
I spent the day in La Push； the majority of it in Billy's house。 He left a
message on Charlie's phone and at
the station； and Charlie showed up around dinnertime with two pizzas。 It was
good he brought two
larges； Jacob ate one all by himself。
I saw Charlie eyeing the two of us suspiciously all night； especially the
much…changed Jacob。 He asked
about the hair； Jacob shrugged and told him it was just more convenient。
I knew that as soon as Charlie and I were headed home； Jacob would take off—
off to run around as a
wolf； as he had done intermittently through the entire day。 He and his
brothers of sorts kept up a constant
watch； looking for some sign of Victoria's return。 But since they'd chased her
away from the hot springs
last night—chased her halfway to Canada； according to Jacob—she'd yet to
make another foray。
I had no hope at all that she might just give up。 I didn't have that kind of
luck。
Jacob walked me to my truck after dinner and lingered by the window； waiting
for Charlie to drive away
first。
〃Don't be afraid tonight；〃 Jacob said； while Charlie pretended to be having
trouble with his seat belt。
〃We'll be out there； watching。〃
〃I won't worry about myself；〃 I promised。
〃You're silly。 Hunting vampires is fun。 It's the best part of this whole
mess。〃
I shook my head。 〃If I'm silly； then you're dangerously unbalanced。〃
He chuckled。 〃Get some rest； Bella； honey。 You look exhausted。〃
〃I'lltry。〃
Charlie honked his horn impatiently。
〃See you tomorrow；〃 Jacob said。 〃e down first thing。〃
〃Iwill。〃
Charlie followed me home。 I paid scant attention to the lights in my rearview
mirror。 Instead； I wondered
where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were； out running in the night。 I
wondered if Jacob had joined
them yet。
When we got home； I hurried for the stairs； but Charlie was right behind me。
〃What's going on； Bella？〃 he demanded before I could escape。 〃I thought Jacob
was part of a gang and
you two were fighting。〃
〃We made up。〃
〃And the gang？〃
〃I don't know—who can understand teenage boys？ They're a mystery。 But I met
Sam Uley and his
fiancee； Emily。 The seemed pretty nice to me。〃 I shrugged。 〃Must have all been
a misunderstanding。〃
His face changed。 〃I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official。
That's nice。 Poor girl。〃
〃Do you know what happened to her？〃
〃Mauled by a bear； up north； during salmon spawning season—horrible accident
It was more than a year
ago now。 I heard Sam was really messed up over it。〃
〃That's horrible；〃 I echoed。 More than a year ago。 I'd bet that meant it had
happened when there was just
one werewolf in La Push。 I shuddered at the thought of how Sam must have felt
every time he looked at
Emily's face。
That night； I lay awake for a long time trying to sort through the day。 I
worked my way backward
through dinner with Billy； Jacob； and C harlie； to the long afternoon in the
Blacks' house； waiting
anxiously to hear something from Jacob； to Emily's kitchen； to the horror of
the werewolf fight； to talking
with Jacob on the beach。
I thought about what Jacob had said early this morning； about hypocrisy。 I
thought about that for a long
time。 I didn't like to think that I was a hypocrite； only what was the point
of lying to myself？
I curled into a tight ball。 No； Edward wasn't a killer。 Even in his darker
past； he'd never been a murderer
of innocents； at least。
But what if he had been？ What if； during the time I that I'd known him； he'd
been just like any other
vampire？ What if people had been disappearing from the woods； just like now？
Would that have kept
me away from him？
I shook my head sadly。 Love is irrational； I reminded myself。 The more you
loved someone； the less
sense anything made。
I rolled over and tried to think of something else—and I thought of Jacob and
his brothers； out running in
the darkness。 I fell asleep imagining the wolves； invisible in the night；
guarding me from danger。 When I
dreamed； I stood in the forest again； but I didn't wander。 I was holding
Emily's scarred hand as we faced
into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to e home。
15。 PRESSURE
IT WAS SPRING BREAK IN FORKS AGAIN。 WHEN I WOKE UP on Monday morning； I lay in
bed for a few seconds absorbing that。 Last spring break； I'd been hunted by a
vampire； too。 I hoped this
wasn't some kind of tradition forming。
Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push。 I'd spent Sunday
mostly on the beach； while
Charlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks' house。 I was supposed to be with
Jacob； but Jacob had other
things to do； so I wandered alone； keeping the secret from Charlie。
When Jacob dropped in to check on me； he apologized for ditching me so much。
He told me his
schedule wasn't always this crazy； but until Victoria was stopped； the wolves
were on red alert。
When we walked along the beach now； he always held my hand。
This made me brood over what Jared had said； about Jacob involving his
〃girlfriend。〃 I supposed that that
was exactly what it looked like from the outside。 As long as Jake and I knew
how it really was； I
shouldn't let those kinds of assumptions bother me。 And maybe they wouldn't；
if I hadn't known that
Jacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared。 But his hand felt
nice as it warmed mine；
a