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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第章

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in my face; sticking to the 
wet places and tangling in my lashes。 I waited。 
Finally the door opened; and I took a step forward in relief。 
Billy rolled his chair into the door frame。 I could see no one behind him。 
〃Charlie just called; Bella。 I told him you were on your way home。〃 His eyes 
were full of pity。 
The pity made it final somehow。 I didn't ment。 I just turned robotically 
and climbed in my truck。 I'd 
left the windows open and the seats were slick and wet。 It didn't matter。 I 
was already soaked。 
Not as bad! Not as bad! my mind tried to fort me。 It was true。 This wasn't 
as bad。 This wasn't the 
end of the world; not again。 This was just the end of what little peace there 
was left behind。 That was all。 
Not as bad; I agreed; then added; but bad enough。 
I'd thought Jake had been healing the hole in me—or at least plugging it up; 
keeping it from hurting me so 
much。 I'd been wrong。 He'd just been carving out his own hole; so that I was 
now riddled through like 
Swiss cheese。 I wondered why I didn't crumble into pieces。 
Charlie was waiting on the porch。 As I rolled to a stop; he walked out to meet 
me。 
〃Billy called。 He said you got in fight with Jake—said you were pretty 
upset;〃 he explained as he opened 
my door for me。 
Then he looked at my face。 A kind of horrified recognition registered in his 
expression。 I tried to feel my 
face from the inside out; to know what he was seeing。 My face felt empty and 
cold; and I realized what it 
would remind him of。 
〃That's not exactly how it happened;〃 I muttered。 
Charlie put his arm around me and helped me out of the car。 He didn't ment 
on my sodden clothes。 
〃Then what did happen'〃 he asked when we were inside。 He pulled the afghan off 
the back of the sofa as 
he spoke and wrapped it around my shoulders。 I realized I was shivering still。 
My voice was lifeless。 〃Sam Uley says Jacob can't be my friend anymore。〃 
Charlie shot me a strange look。 〃Who told you that?〃 
〃Jacob;〃 I stated; though that wasn't exactly what he'd said。 It was still 
true。 
Charlie's eyebrows pulled together。 〃You really think there's something wrong 
with the Uley kid?〃 
〃I know there is。 Jacob wouldn't tell me what; though。〃 I could hear the water 
from my clothes dripping 
to the floor and splashing on the linoleum。 〃I'm going to go change。〃 
Charlie was lost in thought。 〃Okay;〃 he said absently。 
I decided to take a shower because I was so cold; but the hot water didn't 
seem to affect the 
temperature of my skin。 I was still freezing when I gave up and shut the water 
off。 In the sudden quiet; I 
could hear Charlie talking to someone downstairs。 I wrapped a towel around me; 
and cracked the 
bathroom door。 
Charlie's voice was angry。 〃I'm not buying that。 It doesn't make any sense。〃 
It was quiet then; and I realized he was on the phone。 A minute passed。 
〃Don't you put this on Bella!〃 Charlie suddenly shouted。 
I jumped。 When he spoke again; his voice was careful and lower。 〃Bella's made 
it very clear all along that 
she and Jacob were just friends Well; if that was it; then why didn't you 
say so at first? No; Billy; I 
think she's right about this Because I know my daughter; and if she says 
Jacob was scared before—〃 
He was cut off mid…sentence; and when he answered he was almost shouting 
again。 
〃What do you mean I don't know my daughter as well as I think I do!〃 He 
listened for a brief second; 
and his response was almost too low for me to hear。 〃If you think I'm going to 
remind her about that; then 
you had better think again。 She's only just starting to get over it; and 
mostly because of Jacob; I think。 If 
whatever Jacob has going on with this Sam character sends her back into that 
depression; then Jacob is 
going to have to answer to me。 You're my friend; Billy; but this is hurting my 
family。〃 
There was another break for Billy to respond。 
〃You got that right—those boys set one toe out of line and I'm going to know 
about it。 We'll be keeping 
an eye on the situation; you can be sure of that。〃 He was no longer Charlie; 
he was Chief Swan now。 
〃Fine。 Yeah。 Goodbye。〃 The phone slammed into the cradle。 
I tiptoed quickly across the hall into my room。 Charlie was muttering angrily 
in the kitchen。 
So Billy was going to blame me。 I was leading Jacob on and he'd finally had 
enough。 
It was strange; for I'd feared that myself; but after the last thing Jacob had 
said this afternoon; I didn't 
believe it anymore。 There was much more to this than an unrequited crush; and 
it surprised me that Billy 
would stoop to claiming that。 It made me think that whatever secret they were 
keeping was bigger than 
I'd been imagining。 At least Charlie was on my side now。 
I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed。 Life seemed dark enough at the 
moment chat I let myself 
cheat。 The hole—holes now—were already aching; so why not? I pulled out the 
memory—nor a real 
memory that would hurt too much; but the false memory of Edward's voice in my 
mind this 
afternoon—and played it over and over in my head until I fell asleep with the 
tears still streaming calmly 
down my empty face。 
It was a new dream tonight。 Rain was falling and Jacob was walking soundlessly 
beside me; though 
beneath my feet the ground crunched like dry gravel。 But he wasn't my Jacob; 
he was the new; bitter; 
graceful Jacob。 The smooth suppleness of his walk reminded me of someone else; 
and; as I watched; his 
features started to change。 The russet color of his skin leached away; leaving 
his face pale white like 
bone。 His eyes turned gold; and then crimson; and then back to gold again。 His 
shorn hair twisted in the 
breeze; turning bronze where the wind touched it。 And his face became so 
beautiful that it shattered my 
heart。 I reached for him; but he took a step away; raising his hands like a 
shield。 And then Edward 
vanished。 
I wasn't sure; when I woke in the dark; if I'd just begun crying; or if my 
tears had run while I slept and 
simply continued now。 I stared at my dark ceiling。 I could feel that it was 
the middle of the night—I was 
still half…asleep; maybe more than half。 I c
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