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There was nothing I could do。 There were no precautions I could take。 There
was no place I could hide。
There was no one who could help me。
I realized； with a nauseous roll of my stomach； that the situation was worse
than even that。 Because all
those facts applied to Charlie； too。 My father； sleeping one room away from
me； was just a hairsbreadth
off the heart of the target that was centered on me。 My scent would lead them
here； whether I was here
or not。
The tremors rocked me until my teeth chattered。
To calm myself； I fantasized the impossible： I imagined the big wolves
catching up to Laurent in the
woods and massacring the indestructible immortal the way they would any normal
person。 Despite the
absurdity of such a vision； the idea forted me。 If the wolves got him； then
he couldn't tell Victoria I
was here all alone。 If he didn't return； maybe she'd think the Cullens were
still protecting me。 If only the
wolves could win such a fight
My good vampires were never ing back； how soothing it was to imagine that
the other kind could
also disappear。
I squeezed my eyes tight together and waited for unconsciousness—almost eager
for my nightmare to
start。 Better that than the pale； beautiful face that smiled at me now from
behind my lids。
In my imagination； Victoria's eyes were black with thirst； bright with
anticipation； and her lips curled back
from her gleaming teeth in pleasure。 Her red hair was brilliant as fire； it
blew chaotically around her wild
face。
Laurent's words repeated in my head。 If you knew what she had planned for you
I pressed my fist against my mouth to keep from screaming。
11。 CULT
EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and realized I'd lived
through
another night was a surprise to me。 After the surprise wore off； my heart
would start to race and my
palms would sweat； I couldn't really breathe again until I'd gotten up and
ascertained that Charlie had
survived as well。
I could tell he was worried—watching me jump at any loud sound； or my face
suddenly go white for no
reason that he could see。 From the questions he asked now and then； he seemed
to blame the change on
Jacob's continued absence。
The terror that was always foremost in my thoughts usually distracted me from
the fact that another week
had passed； and Jacob still hadn't called me。 But when I was able to
concentrate on my normal life—if
my life was really ever normal—this upset me。
I missed him horribly。
It had been bad enough to be alone before I was scared silly。 Now； more than
ever； I yearned for his
carefree laugh and his infectious grin。 I needed the safe sanity of his
homemade garage and his warm
hand around my cold fingers。
I'd half expected him to call on Monday。 If there had been some progress with
Embry； wouldn't he want
to report it？ I wanted to believe that it was worry for his friend that was
occupying all his time； not that he
was just giving up on me。
I called him Tuesday； but no one answered。 Were the phone lines still having
problems？ Or had Billy
invested in caller I。D。？
On Wednesday I called every half hour until after eleven at night； desperate
to hear the warmth of
Jacob's voice。
Thursday I sat in my truck in front of my house—with the locks pushed down—
keys in hand； for a solid
hour。 I was arguing with myself； trying to justify a quick trip to La Push；
but I couldn't do it。
I knew that Laurent had gone back to Victoria by now。 If I went to La Push； I
took the chance of leading
one of them there。 What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby？ As much
as it hurt me； I knew it
was better for Jacob that he was avoiding me。 Safer for him。
It was bad enough that I couldn't figure out a way to keep Charlie safe。
Nighttime was the most likely
time that they would e looking ior me； and what could I say to get Charlie
out of the house？ If I told
him the truth； he'd have me locked up in a rubber room somewhere。 I would have
endured
that—weled it； even—if it could have kept him safe。 But Victoria would
still e to his house first；
looking for me。 Maybe； if she found me here； that would be enough for her。
Maybe she would just leave
when she was done with me。
So I couldn't run away。 Even if I could； where would I go？ To Renee？ I
shuddered at the thought of
dragging my lethal shadows into my mother's safe； sunny world。 I would never
endanger her that way。
The worry was eating a hole in my stomach。 Soon I would have matching
punctures。
That night； Charlie did me another favor and called Harry again to see if the
Blacks were out of town。
Harry reported that Billy had attended the council meeting Wednesday night；
and never mentioned
anything about leaving。 Charlie warned me not to make a nuisance of myself—
Jacob would call when he
got around to it。
Friday afternoon； as I drove home from school； it hit me out of the blue。
I wasn't paying attention to the familiar road； letting the sound of the
engine deaden my brain and silence
the worries； when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must have been
working on for some time
without my knowledge。
As soon as I thought of it； I felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner。
Sure。 I'd had a lot on my
mind—revenue…obsessed vampires； giant mutant wolves； a ragged hole in the
center of my chest—but
when I laid the evidence out； it was embarrassingly obvious。
Jacob avoiding me。 Charlie saying he looked strange； upset。 。 。 。 Billy's
vague； unhelpful answers。
Holy crow； I knew exactly what was going on with Jacob。
It was Sam Uley。 Even my nightmares had been trying to tell me that。 Sam had
gotten to Jacob。
Whatever was happening to the other boys on the reservation had reached out
and stolen my friend。
He'd been sucked into Sam's cult。
He hadn't given up on me at all； I realized with a rush of feeling。
I let my truck idle in front of my house。 What should I do？ I weighed the
dangers against each other。
If I went looking for Jacob； I risked the chance of Victoria or Laurent
finding me with him。
If I didn't go after him； Sam would pull him