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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第章

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had driven Charlie down; 
so we rode together in my truck on the way back home。 He asked about my day; 
and I told mostly the 
truth—that I'd gone with Jacob to look at parts and then watched him work in 
his garage。 
〃You think you'll visit again anytime soon?〃 he wondered; trying to be casual 
about it。 
〃Tomorrow after school;〃 I admitted。 〃I'll take homework; don't worry。〃 
〃You be sure to do that;〃 he ordered; trying to disguise his satisfaction。 
I was nervous when we got to the house。 I didn't want to go upstairs。 The 
warmth of Jacob's presence 
was fading and; in its absence; the anxiety grew stronger。 I was sure I 
wouldn't get away with two 
peaceful nights of sleep in a row。 
To put bedtime off; I checked my e…mail; there was a new message from Renee。 
She wrote about her day; a new book club that rilled the time slot of the 
meditation classes she'd just 
quit; her week subbing in the second grade; missing her kindergarteners。 She 
wrote that Phil was 
enjoying his new coaching job; and that they were planning a second honeymoon 
trip to Disney World。 
And I noticed that the whole thing read like a journal entry; rather than a 
letter to someone else。 Remorse 
flooded through me; leaving an unfortable sting behind。 Some daughter I 
was。 
I wrote back to her quickly; menting on each part of her letter; 
volunteering information of my 
own—describing the spaghetti party at Billy's and how I felt watching Jacob 
build useful things out of 
small pieces of metal—awed and slightly envious。 I made no reference to the 
change this letter would be 
from the ones she'd received in the last several months。 I could barely 
remember what I'd written to her 
even as recently as last week; but I was sure it wasn't very responsive。 The 
more I thought about it; the 
guiltier I felt; I really must have worried her。 
I stayed up extra late after that; finishing more homework than strictly 
necessary。 But neither sleep 
deprivation nor the time spent with Jacob—being almost happy in a shallow 
kind of way—could keep 
the dream away for two nights in a row。 
I woke shuddering; my scream muffled by the pillow。 
As the dim morning light filtered through the fog outside my window; I lay 
still in bed and tried to shake 
off the dream。 There had been a small difference last night; and I 
concentrated on that。 
Last night I had not been alone in the woods。 Sam Uley—the man who had pulled 
me from the forest 
floor that night I couldn't bear to think of consciously—was there。 It was an 
odd; unexpected alteration。 
The man's dark eyes had been surprisingly unfriendly; filled with some secret 
he didn't seem inclined to 
share。 I'd stared at him as often as my frantic searching had allowed; it made 
me unfortable; under all 
the usual panic; to have him there。 Maybe that was because; when I didn't look 
directly at him; his shape 
seemed to shiver and change in my peripheral vision。 Yet he did nothing but 
stand and watch。 Unlike the 
time when we had met in reality; he did not offer me his help。 
Charlie stared at me during breakfast; and I tried to ignore him。 I supposed I 
deserved it。 I couldn't 
expect him not to worry。 It would probably be weeks before he stopped watching 
for the return of the 
zombie; and I would just have to try to not let it bother me。 After all; I 
would be watching for the return 
of the zombie; too。 Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured。 
School was the opposite。 Now that I was paying attention; it was clear that no 
one was watching here。 
I remembered the first day I'd e to Forks High School—how desperately I'd 
wished that I could turn 
gray; fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon。 
It seemed I was getting that 
wish answered; a year late。 
It was like I wasn't there。 Even my teachers' eyes slid past my seat as if it 
were empty。 
I listened all through the morning; hearing once again the voices of the 
people around me。 I tried to catch 
up on what was going on; but the conversations were so disjointed that I gave 
up。 
Jessica didn't look up when I sat down next to her in Calculus。 
〃Hey; Jess;〃 I said with put…on nonchalance。 〃How was the rest of your 
weekend?〃 
She looked at me with suspicious eyes。 Could she still be angry? Or was she 
just too impatient to deal 
with a crazy person? 
〃Super;〃 she said; turning back to her book。 
〃That's good;〃 I mumbled。 
The figure of speech cold shoulder seemed to have some literal truth to it。 I 
could feel the warm air 
blowing from the floor vents; but I was still too cold。 I took the jacket off 
the back of my chair and put it 
on again。 
My fourth hour class got out late; and the lunch table I always sat at was 
full by the time I arrived。 Mike 
was there; Jessica and Angela; Conner; Tyler; Eric and Lauren。 Katie Marshall; 
the redheaded junior 
who lived around the corner from me; was sitting with Eric; and Austin Marks—
older brother to the boy 
with the motorcycles—was next to her。 I wondered how long they'd been sitting 
here; unable to 
remember if this was the first day or something that was a regular habit。 
I was beginning to get annoyed with myself。 I might as well have been packed 
in Styrofoam peanuts 
through the last semester。 
No one looked up when I sat down next to Mike; even though the chair squealed 
stridently against the 
linoleum as I dragged it back。 
I tried to catch up with the conversation。 
Mike and Conner were talking sports; so I gave up on that one at once。 
〃Where's Ben today?〃 Lauren was asking Angela。 I perked up; interested。 I 
wondered if that meant 
Angela and Ben were still together。 
I barely recognized Lauren。 She'd cut off all her blond; corn…silk hair—now 
she had a pixie cut so short 
that the back was shaved like a boy。 What an odd thing for her to do。 I wished 
I knew the reason behind 
it。 Did she get gum stuck in it? Did she sell it? Had all the people she was 
habitually nasty to caught her 
behind the gym and scalped her? I decided it wasn't fair for me to judge her 
now by my former opinion。 
For all I knew; she'd turned into a nice person。 
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