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only made it till the stairs。
The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his
shirt。
23。 THE TRUTH
I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff；
like I
hadn't moved once through all that time； either。 My mind was dazed and slow；
strange； colorful
dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head。
They were so vivid。 The
horrible and the heavenly； all mixed together into a bizarre jumble。 There was
sharp impatience and fear；
both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough
And there were plenty of
monsters； red…eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel
civility。 The dream was still
strong—I could even remember the names。 But the strongest； clearest part of
the dream was not the
horror。 It was the angel that was most clear。
It was hard to let him go and wake up。 This dream did not want to be shoved
away into the vault of
dreams I refused to revisit。 I struggled with it as my mind became more alert；
focusing on reality。 I
couldn't remember what day of the week it was； but I was sure Jacob or school
or work or something
was waiting for me。 I inhaled deeply； wondering how to face another day。
Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure。
I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut。 I was still dreaming； it seemed； and it
felt abnormally real。 I was so
close to waking any second now； and it would be gone。
But I realized that it felt too real； too real to be good for me。 The stone
arms I imagined wrapped around
me were far too substantial。 If I let this go any further； I'd be sorry for it
later。 With a resigned sigh； I
wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion。
〃Oh！〃 I gasped； and threw my fists over my eyes。
Well； clearly； I'd gone too far； it must have been a mistake to let my
imagination get so out of hand。
Okay； so 〃let〃 was the wrong word。 I'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty
much stalked my
hallucinations—and now my mind had snapped。
It took less than half a second for me to realize that； as long as I was truly
insane now； I might as well
enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant。
I opened my eyes again—and Edward was still there； his perfect face just
inches away from mine。
〃Did I frighten you？〃 His low voice was anxious。 This was very good； as
delusions went。 The face； the
voice； the scent； everything—it was so much better than drowning。 The
beautiful figment of my
imagination watched my changing expressions； with alarm。 His irises were
pitch…black； with bruise…like
shadows under them。 This surprised me； my hallucinatory Edwards were usually
better fed。
I blinked twice； desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure
was real。 Alice was part of
my dream； and I wondered if she had really e back at all； or if that was
just the preamble。 I thought
she'd returned the day I'd nearly drowned
〃Oh； crap〃 I croaked。 My throat was thick with sleeping。
〃What's wrong； Bella？〃
I frowned at him unhappily。 His face was even more anxious than before。
〃I'm dead； right？〃 I moaned。 〃I did drown。 Crap； crap； crap！ This is gonna
kill Charlie。〃
Edward frowned； too。 〃You're not dead。〃
〃Then why am I not waking up？〃 I challenged； raising my eyebrows。
〃You are awake； Bella。〃
I shook my head。 〃Sure； sure。 That's what you want me to think。 And then it
will be worse when I do
wake up。 If I wake up； which I won't； because I'm dead。 This is awful。 Poor
Charlie。 And Renee and
Jake〃 I trailed off in horror at what I had done。
〃I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare。〃 His short…lived smile
was grim。 〃But I can't
imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell。 Did you mit many
murders while I was away？〃
I grimaced。 〃Obviously not。 If I was in hell； you wouldn't be with me。〃
He sighed。
My head was getting clearer。 My eyes flickered away from his face—unwillingly
—for one second； to the
dark； open window； and then back to him。 I started to remember details and I
felt a faint； unfamiliar
blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was
really； truly here with me；
and I was wasting time being an idiot。
〃Did all of that really happen； then？〃 It was almost impossible to reassign my
dream as reality。 I couldn't
wrap my head around the concept。
〃That depends。〃 Edward's smile was still hard。 〃If you're referring to us
nearly being massacred in Italy；
then； yes。〃
〃How strange；〃 I mused。 〃I really went to Italy。 Did you know I'd never been
farther east than
Albuquerque？〃
He rolled his eyes。 〃Maybe you should go back to sleep。 You're not coherent。〃
〃I'm not tired anymore。〃 It was all ing clear now。 〃What time is it？ How
long have I been sleeping？〃
〃It's just after one in the morning。 So； about fourteen hours。〃
I stretched as he spoke。 I was so stiff。
〃Charlie？〃 I asked。
Edward frowned。 〃Sleeping。 You should probably know that I'm breaking the
rules right now。 Well； not
technically； since he said I was never to walk through his door again； and I
came in the window But；
still； the intent was clear。〃
〃Charlie banned you from the house？〃 I asked； disbelief quickly melting into
fury。
His eyes were sad。 〃Did you expect anything else？〃
My eyes were mad。 I was going to have a few words with my father—perhaps it
would be a good time
to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood。 It didn't matter so
much； of course； except in
principle。 All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition。 I turned
my thoughts to less painful
avenues。
〃What's the story？〃 I asked； genuinely curious； but also trying desperately to
keep the conversation
casual； to keep a firm grip on myself； so I wouldn't scare him away with the
frantic； gnawing craving that
was raging inside me。
〃What do you mean？〃
〃What am I telling Charlie？ What's my excuse for disappearing for how long
was I gone； anyway？〃 I
tried to count the hours in my head。
〃Just three days。〃 His eyes tightened； but he smiled more naturally this time。
〃Actually；