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首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)-第章

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‘No; shurrup; righ’?’ Krystal said loudly to her mother。 She addressed Kay。 ‘He were ill; righ’; his tonsils were all up; I got ’im antibiotics off the doctor。’

‘And when was that?’

‘Tha’ was ’bout free weeks – anyway; righ’—’

‘When I was here yesterday;’ Kay said; addressing Robbie’s mother again (Krystal was chewing vigorously; her arms making a double barrier around her ribs); ‘you seemed to be finding it very difficult to respond to Robbie’s needs; Terri。’

Krystal glanced down at her mother。 Her spreading thigh was twice as thick as Terri’s。

‘I di’n’ – I never …’ Terri changed her mind。 ‘’E’s fine。’

A suspicion darkened Krystal’s mind like the shadow of some circling vulture。

‘Terri; you’d used when I arrived yesterday; hadn’t you?’

‘No; I fuckin’ hadn’! Tha’s a fuckin’ – you’re fuckin’ – I ain’ used; all righ’?’

A weight was pressing on Krystal’s lungs and her ears were ringing。 Obbo must have given her mother; not a single bag; but a bundle。 The social worker had seen her blasted。 Terri would test positive at Bellchapel next time; and they would chuck her out again …

( … and without methadone; they would return again to that nightmare place where Terri became feral; when she would again start opening her broken…toothed mouth for strangers’ dicks; so she could feed her veins。 And Robbie would be taken away again; and this time he might not e back。 In a little red plastic heart hanging from the key…ring in Krystal’s pocket was a picture of Robbie; aged one。 Krystal’s real heart had started pounding the way it did when she rowed full stretch; pulling; pulling through the water; her muscles singing; watching the other crew slide backwards … )

‘You fuckin’;’ she shouted; but nobody heard her; because Terri was still bawling at Kay; who sat with her mug held in her hands; looking unmoved。

‘I ain’ fuckin’ used; you ain’ go’ no proof—’

‘You fuckin’ stupid;’ said Krystal; louder。

‘I ain’ fuckin’ used; tha’s a fuckin’ lie;’ screamed Terri; an animal snared in a ; thrashing around; tangling herself tighter。 ‘I never fuckin’ did; righ’; I never—’

‘They’ll kick you out the fuckin’ clinic again; you stupid fuckin’ bitch!’

‘Don’ you dare fuckin’ talk ter me like tha’!’

‘All right;’ said Kay loudly over the din; putting her mug back on the floor and standing up; scared at what she had unleashed; then she shouted ‘Terri!’ in real alarm; as Terri hoisted herself up in the chair to half crouch on its other arm; facing her daughter; like two gargoyles they were almost nose to nose; screaming。

‘Krystal!’ cried Kay; as Krystal raised her fist。

Krystal flung herself violently off the chair; away from her mother。 She was surprised to feel warm liquid flowing down her cheeks; and thought confusedly of blood; but it was tears; only tears; clear and shining on her fingertips when she wiped them away。

‘All right;’ said Kay; unnerved。 ‘Let’s calm down; please。’

‘You fuckin’ calm down;’ Krystal said。 Shaking; she wiped her face with her forearm; then marched back over to her mother’s chair。 Terri flinched; but Krystal merely snatched up the cigarette packet; slid out the last cigarette and a lighter; and lit up。 Puffing on the cigarette; she walked away from her mother to the window and turned her back; trying to press away more tears before they fell。

‘OK;’ said Kay; still standing; ‘if we can talk about this calmly—’

‘Oh; fuck off;’ said Terri dully。

‘This is about Robbie;’ Kay said。 She was still on her feet; scared to relax。 ‘That’s what I’m here for。 To make sure that Robbie is all right。’

‘So ’e missed fuckin’ nursery;’ said Krystal; from the window。 ‘Tha’s norra fuckin’ crime。’

‘… norra fuckin’ crime;’ agreed Terri; in a dim echo。

‘This isn’t only about nursery;’ said Kay。 ‘Robbie was unfortable and sore when I saw him yesterday。 He’s much too old to be wearing a nappy。’

‘I took ’im outta the fuckin’ nappy; ’e’s in pants now; I toldja!’ said Krystal furiously。

‘I’m sorry; Terri;’ said Kay; ‘but you weren’t in any fit condition to have sole charge of a small child。’

‘I never—’

‘You can keep telling me you haven’t used;’ Kay said; and Krystal heard something real and human in Kay’s voice for the first time: exasperation; irritation。 ‘But you’re going to be tested at the clinic。 We both know you’re going to test positive。 They’re saying it’s your last chance; that they’ll throw you out again。’

Terri wiped her mouth with the back of her hand。

‘Look; I can see neither of you wants to lose Robbie—’

‘Don’ fuckin’ take him away; then!’ shouted Krystal。

‘It’s not as simple as that;’ said Kay。 She sat down again and lifted the heavy folder back onto her lap from the floor where it had fallen。 ‘When Robbie came back to you last year; Terri; you were off the heroin。 You made a big mitment to staying clean and going through the programme; and you agreed to certain other things; like keeping Robbie in nursery—’

‘Yeh; an’ I took ’im—’

‘—for a bit;’ said Kay。 ‘For a bit you did; but; Terri; a token effort isn’t enough。 After what I found when I called here yesterday; and after talking to your key drug worker and to Mrs Harper; I’m afraid I think we need to have another look at how things are working。’

‘What’s that mean?’ said Krystal。 ‘Another fuckin’ case review; is it? Why’djer need one; though? Why’djer need one? He’s all righ’; I’m lookin’ after – fuckin’ shurrup!’ she screamed at Terri; who was trying to shout along from her chair。 ‘She ain’ – I’m lookin’ after ’im; all righ’?’ she bellowed at Kay; pink in the face; her heavily kohled eyes brimming with tears of anger; jabbing a finger at her own chest。

Krystal had visited Robbie regularly at his foster parents during the month he had been away from them。 He had clung to her; wanted her to stay for tea; cried when she left。 It had been like having half your guts cut out of you and held hostage。 Krystal had wanted Robbie to go to Nana Cath’s; the way she had gone all those times in
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