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into her sheets： his dozens of snaking； winding； scary tattoos acted
as the perfect camouflage against her green and blue plaid
forter。 There was a gold hoop through his eyebrow； much
glittering metal from each ear； and two small； rounded spikes ing
out of his chin。 Thankfully he was wearing a pair of boxers； but
they looked so dirty and dingy and old that I almost—almost—wished
he weren’t。 He pulled on his cigarette； exhaled slowly and
meaningfully； and nodded in my general direction。
“Yo；” he said； waving his cigarette toward me。 “You mind shuttin’
the door there； m’friend？”
What？ “M’friend”？ Was this sleazy…looking Aussie actually givingme
attitude？
“Are you smokingcrack ？” I asked； no longer interested in manners of
any sort； and not at all scared。 He was shorter than me and couldn’t
have weighed more than a hundred thirty—as far as I could tell； the
worst thing he could do to me at that point would be to touch me。 I
shuddered when I thought about the myriad ways he’d probably touched
Lily； who was still sleeping soundly underneath his protective
hover。 “Who the hell do you think you are？ This ismy apartment； and
I’d like you to leave。 Now！” I added； my courage fueled by the time
demands： I had exactly one hour to get gorgeous for the single most
stressful night of my career； and dealing with this strung…out freak
had not been part of the game plan。
“Duuuuuuuude。 Chill out；” he breathed and inhaled again。 “It doesn’t
look like your friend here wants me to leave 。 。 。”
“She would want you to leave if she HAPPENED TO BE CONSCIOUS； YOU
ASSHOLE！” I screamed； horrified that Lily had—in all likelihood—had
sex with this guy。 “I assure you； I speak for both of us when I say
GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR APARTMENT！”
I felt a hand on my shoulder and whipped around to see Alex； looking
concerned； checking out the situation。 “Andy； why don’t you get in
the shower and let me take care of this； OK？” Although no one could
call him a big guy； he looked like a pro wrestler pared to the
emaciated mess that was currently nuzzling his facial metal against
my best friend’s bare back。
“I。 WANT。 HIM。”—I pointed here； just to be clear。—“OUT。 OF。 MY。
APARTMENT。”
“I know you do； and I think he’s about ready to leave； too； aren’t
you； buddy？” Alex asked in the kind of soothing voice you’d use with
a rabid…looking dog you were frightened of upsetting。
“Duuuuuuude；no issues here。 Just havin’ a little fun with Lily is
all。 She was all over me last night at Au Bar—ask anyone； they’ll
tell you。 Fuckin’ begged me to e back with her。”
“I don’t doubt that；” Alex said soothingly。 “She’s a really friendly
girl when she wants to be； but sometimes she gets too drunk to know
what she’s doing。 So as her friend； I’m going to have to ask you to
leave now。”
The freak mashed his cigarette out and made a big show of throwing
up his hands in mock surrender。 “Dude； no problem whatsoever。 I’ll
just take a quick shower and give m’little Lily here a proper
good…bye； and then I’ll be on m’way。” He swung his legs over the
side of the bed and reached for the towel that hung next to her
desk。
Alex moved forward； swiftly removed the towel from his hands； and
looked him directly in the eye。 “No。 I think you should leave now。
Right now。” And in a way that I’d never seen him do in the almost
three years I’d known him； he placed himself squarely in front of
Freak Boy and allowed his height to insinuate the threat that was
clearly intended。
“Dude； no worries。 I’m outta here；” he crooned after taking one look
at Alex and realizing he had to crane his neck to look at his face。
“Just get m’self dressed and out the door。” He picked up his jeans
from the floor and located his ripped…up T…shirt from underneath
Lily’s still exposed body。 She moved when he pulled it out from
under her； and a few seconds later her eyes managed to open。
“Cover her！” Alex manded gruffly； now clearly enjoying his new
role as threatening…man…in…charge。 And without ment； Freak Boy
pulled the cover over her shoulders so that only a tangle of her
black curls was visible。
“What’s going on？” Lily croaked while willing her eyes to stay open。
She turned to see me trembling in anger in her doorway； Alex hulking
about doing manly poses； and Freak Boy scrambling to tie his blue
and canary yellow Diadoras and get the hell out before things got
really ugly。 Too late。 Her gaze stopped on Freak Boy。
“Who the hell are you？” she asked him； bolting upright without even
realizing that she was now pletely naked。 Alex and I
instinctively turned away while she pulled the covers up； looking
shocked； but Freak Boy grinned lecherously and ogled her breasts。
“Baby； you tellin’ me you don’t remember who I am？” he asked； his
thick Australian accent being less adorable with every passing
second。 “You sure knew who I was last night。” He walked over to her
and looked like he was about to sit down on the bed； but Alex had
already grabbed his arm and pulled him upright。
“Out。 Now。 Or I’m going to have to carry you myself；” he manded；
looking tough and very cute and not a little proud of himself。
Freak Boy threw up his hands and made clucking noises。 “I’m outta
here。 Call me sometime； Lily。 You were great last night。” He moved
quickly through the bedroom door toward the living room with Alex in
pursuit。 “Man； she sure as hell is a feisty one；” I heard him say to
Alex right before the front door slammed shut； but it didn’t appear
that Lily had heard。 She had pulled on a T…shirt and managed to pull
herself out of bed。
“Lily； who the hell was that？ He was the biggest jerk I’ve ever met；