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this than anything else。”
“You’re right； you’re totally right。”
“And besides； it would guarantee that you’re moving to New York；
which； I have to say； is very appealing to me right now。” He kissed
me； one of those long； lazy kisses it seemed we had personally
invented。 “But stop worrying so much。 Like you said yourself； you’re
still not sure you have the job。 Let’s wait and see。”
We cooked a simple dinner and fell asleep watching Letterman。 I was
dreaming about obnoxious little nine…year…olds having sex on the
playground while they swigged forties of Olde English and screamed
at my sweet； loving boyfriend when the phone rang。
Alex picked it up and pressed it to his ear but didn’t bother to
open his eyes or say hello。 He quickly dropped it next to me。 I
wasn’t sure I could muster the energy to pick it up。
“Hello？” I mumbled； glancing at the clock and seeing that it was
7：15A 。M。 Who the hell would call at such an hour？
“It’s me；” barked a very angry…sounding Lily。
“Hi； is everything OK？”
“Do you think I’d be calling you if everything was OK？ I’m so
hungover I could die； and I finally stop puking long enough to fall
asleep； and I’m awakened by a scarily perky woman who says she works
in HR at Elias…Clark。 And she’s looking for you。 Atseven…fifteen in
the freakin’ morning。 So call her back。 And tell her to lose my
number。”
“Sorry； Lil。 I gave them your number because I don’t have a cell
yet。 I can’t believe she called so early！ I wonder if that’s good or
bad？” I took the portable and crept out of the bedroom； quietly
closing the door as I went。
“Whatev。 Good luck。 Let me know how it goes。 Just not in the next
couple hours； OK？”
“Will do。 Thanks。 And sorry。”
I looked at my watch again and couldn’t believe I was about to have
a Business conversation。 I put on a pot of Coffee and waited until
it had finished brewing and brought a cup to the couch。 It was time
to call。 I had no choice。
“Hello； this is Andrea Sachs；” I said firmly； although my voice
betrayed me with its deep； raspy； just…woke…up…ness。
“Andrea； good morning！ Hope I didn’t call too early；” Sharon sang；
her own voice full of sunshine。 “I’m sure I didn’t； my dear；
especially since you’ll have to be an early bird soon enough！ I have
some very good news。 Miranda was very impressed with you and said
she’s very much looking forward to working with you。 Isn’t that
wonderful？ Congratulations； dear。 How does it feel to be Miranda
Priestly’s new assistant？ I imagine that you’re just—”
My head was spinning。 I tried to pull myself off the couch to get
some more Coffee； water； anything that might clear my head and turn
her words back into English； but I only sank further into the
cushions。 Was she asking me if I would like the job？ Or was she
making an official offer？ I couldn’t make sense of anything she’d
just said； anything other than the fact that Miranda Priestly had
liked me。
“—delighted with this news。 Who wouldn’t be； right？ So let’s see；
you can start on Monday； right？ She’ll actually be on vacation then；
but that’s a great time to start。 Give you a little time to get
acquainted with the other girls—oh； they’re all such sweeties！”
Acquainted？ What？ Starting Monday？ Sweetie girls？ It was refusing to
make sense in my addled brain。 I picked a single phrase that I’d
understood and responded to it。
“Um； well； I don’t think I can start Monday；” I said quietly； hoping
I’d indeed said something coherent。 Saying those words had shocked
me into semiwakefulness。 I’d walked through the Elias…Clark doors
for the very first time the day before； and was being awakened from
a deep sleep to listen to someone tell me that I was to begin work
in three days。 It was Friday—at seven o’clock in the goddamn
morning—and they wanted me to start on Monday？ It began to feel like
everything was spiraling out of control。 Why the ridiculous rush？
Was this woman so important that she needed me so badly？ And why
exactly did Sharon herself sound so scared of Miranda？
Starting Monday would be impossible。 I had nowhere to live。 Home
base was my parents’ house in Avon； the place I’d grudgingly moved
back to after graduation； and where most of my things remained while
I’d traveled during the summer。 All of my interview…related clothes
were piled on Lily’s couch。 I’d been trying to do the dishes and
empty her ashtrays and buy pints of Hä；agen…Dazs so she wouldn’t hate
me； but I thought it only fair to give her a much…needed break from
my unending presence； so I camped out on weekends at Alex’s。 That
put all of my weekend going…out clothes and fun makeup at Alex’s in
Brooklyn； my laptop and mismatched suits at Lily’s Harlem studio；
and the rest of my life at my parents’ house in Avon。 I had no
apartment in New York and didn’t particularly understand how
everyone knew that Madison Avenue ran uptown but Broadway ran down。
I didn’t actually know what uptown was。 And she wanted me to start
Monday？
“Um； well； I don’t think I can do this Monday because I don’t
currently live in New York；” I quickly explained； clutching the
phone； “and I’ll need a couple days to find an apartment and buy
some furniture and move。”
“Oh； well； then。 I suppose Wednesday would be OK；” she sniffed。
After a few more minutes of haggling； we finally settled on November
17； a week from Monday。 That left me a little more than eight days
to find and furnish a Home in one of the craziest real estate
markets in the world。
I hung up and flopped back down on the couch。 My hands were
trembling； and I let the phone drop to the floor。 A week。 I had a
week to start working at the j