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ht have gone was one of his own construction； just as he had moments earlier piled up Pam‘s clothes because they no longer had a use。 He could close his eyes and see her。 In the silence he could hear her； but the smells were gone； and her feel was gone。
Kelly reached over from the bed and touched the flannel shirt； remembering what it had once covered； remembering how his large strong hands had clumsily undone the buttons to find his love inside； but now it was merely a piece of cloth whose shape contained nothing but air； and little enough of that。 It was then that Kelly began sobbing for the first time since he‘d learned of her death。 His body shook with the reality of it； and alone inside the walls of rebarred concrete he called out her name； hoping that somewhere she might hear； and somehow she might forgive him for killing her with his stupidity。 Perhaps she was at rest now。 Kelly prayed that God would understand that she‘d never really had a chance； would recognize the goodness of her character and judge her with mercy； but that was one mystery whose solutions were well beyond his ability to solve。 His eyes were limited by the confines of this room； and they kept returning to the pile of clothing。
The bastards hadn‘t even given her body the dignity of being covered from the elements and the searching eyes of men。 They‘d wanted everybody to know how they‘d punished her and enjoyed her and tossed her aside like a piece of rubbish； something for a bird to pick at。 Pam Madden had been of no consequence to them； except perhaps a convenience to be used in life； and even in death； as a demonstration of their prowess。 As central as she had been to his life； that was how unimportant she had been to them。 Just like the headman‘s family； Kelly realized。 A demonstration： defy us and suffer。 And if others found out； so much the better。 Such was their pride。
Kelly lay back in the bed； exhausted by weeks of bed rest followed by a long day of exertion。 He stared at the ceiling； the light still on； hoping to sleep； hoping more to find dreams of Pam； but his last conscious thought was something else entirely。
If his pride could kill； then so could theirs。
Dutch Maxwell arrived at his office at six…fifteen； as was his custom。 Although as Assistant Chief of Naval Operations （Air） he was no longer part of any operational mand hierarchy； he was still a Vice Admiral； and his current job required him to think of every single aircraft in the US Navy as his own。 And so the top item on his pile of daily paperwork was a summary of the previous day‘s air operations over Vietnam … actually it was today‘s； but had happened yesterday due to the vagaries of the International Dateline； something that had always seemed outrageous even though he‘d fought one battle practically astride the invisible line on the Pacific Ocean。
He remembered it well： less than thirty years earlier； flying an F4F…4 Wildcat fighter off USS Enterprise； an ensign； with all his hair … cut very short … and a brand…new wife； all piss…and…vinegar and three hundred hours under his belt。 On the fourth of June； 1942； in the early afternoon； he‘d spotted three Japanese ‘Val‘ dive bombers that ought to have followed the rest of the Hiryu air group to attack Yorktown but had gotten lost and headed towards his carrier by mistake。 He‘d killed two of them on his first surprise pass out of a cloud。 The third had taken longer； but he could remember every glint of the sun off his target‘s wings and the tracers from the gunner‘s futile efforts to drive him on。 Landing on his carrier forty minutes later； he‘d claimed three kills before the incredulous eyes of his squadron mander … then had all three confirmed by gunsight cameras。 Overnight； his ‘official‘ squadron coffee mug had changed from ‘Winny‘ … a nickname he‘d despised … to ‘Dutch；‘ engraved into the porcelain with blood…red letters； a call sign he‘d borne for the remainder of his career。
Four more bat cruises had added twelve additional kills to the side of his aircraft； and in due course he‘d manded a fighter squadron； then a carrier air wing； then a carrier； then a group； and then been mander； Air Forces； US Pacific Fleet； before assuming his current job。 With luck a fleet mand lay in his future； and that was as far as he‘d ever been able to see。 Maxwell‘s office was in keeping with his station and experience。 On the wall to the left of his large mahogany desk was the side plate from the F6F Hellcat he‘d flown at Philippine Sea and off the coast of Japan。 Fifteen rising…sun flags were painted on the deep blue background lest anyone forget that the Navy‘s elder statesman of aviators had really done it once； and done it better than most。 His old mug from the old Enterprise sat on his desk as well； no longer used for something so trivial as drinking coffee； and certainly not for pencils。
This near…culmination of his career should have been a matter of the utmost satisfaction to Maxwell； but instead his eyes fell upon the daily loss report from Yankee Station。 Two A…7A Corsair light…attack bombers had been lost； and the notation said they were from the same ship and the same squadron。
‘What‘s the story on this？‘ Maxwell asked Rear Admiral Podulski。
‘I checked；‘ Casimir replied。 ‘Probably a midair。 Anders was the element leader； his wingman； Robertson； was a new kid。 Something went wrong but nobody saw what it was。 No SAM call； and they were too high for flak。‘
‘Chutes？‘
‘No。‘ Podulski shook his head。 ‘The division leader saw the fireball。 Just bits and pieces came out。‘
‘What were they in after？‘
Gas‘s face said it all。 ‘A suspected truck park。 The rest of the strike went in； hit the target； good bomb patterns； but no secondaries。‘
‘So the whole thing was a waste of time。‘ Maxwell closed his eyes； wondering what had gone wrong with the two aircraft； with the mission assignment； with his career； with his Navy； with his whole country。
‘Not at all； Dutch。 Somebody thought it was an important target。‘
‘Cas； it‘s too early in the morning for that； okay？‘
‘Yes； sir。 The CAG is investigating the incident and will probably take some token action。 If you want an explanation； it