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One boon； from infancy to age； has been showered upon me in a strange abundance； pressed down and running over — the uncountable； peculiar treasure of every degree and form of human love； which love alone； present or departed； has made my life worth living。
But if it is all to cease and be forgotten at the borders of the grave； then life is not worth living。 Such； however； is no faith of mine。
Farewell！
H。 Rider Haggard。
Ditchingham： September 25； 1912。
Chapter 23 A NOTE ON RELIGION
S。S。 Arcadia； December 16； 1912。 （Off Aden。）
It has occurred to me that the views on the matter of religion of a person of my day with such experiences as this work records may prove of interest to some of those who e after me； and possibly； here and there； of help。 So I add them to this book as a footnote which none need read unless they wish。
First I should state that I am not a theologian。 Theology is a science that has no attraction for me。 In this great question of our future life or death I find no place for subtleties in which many take so much delight。 Such is the constitution of my mind。 The fine divisions of a creed； the bitterness that rages between High Church and Low； for instance； awake in my heart neither sympathy nor echo。 What are vestments or ritual when eternal life or death and salvation are at stake？ Even the great gulf fixed between Anglican and Roman Catholic is to me narrow。 I was bred； and doubtless shall to the end remain； a member of the Church of England。 But； on the other hand； I have a great admiration for many parts of the Roman precept and practice。 Its discipline seems to me beyond praise； the support it gives to the individual struggling and affrighted soul shows deep understanding of the eternal needs of human nature； while who can be blind to the abnegation of self evinced in the practice of celibacy by its devoted priesthood； resulting； as it does； in an enormous gain to its efficiency as a Church？
Further； within limits that I need not discuss； personally I think the virtue of Confession which it inculcates great； since thereby is brought the whole weight； wisdom and merit of the Church to the aid of the particular case。 I am aware that Confession is allowed to Anglicans and even； in a sense； enjoined upon them。 But by how many is the rite employed？ And why is it not employed？ The question may be answered by another。 Who wishes to make confessions of his failings — to lay bare that wonderful and sometimes awful thing； the secret soul of man； to Mrs。 Rector or Mrs。 Archdeacon； or even to a selection of the father confessor’s brothers and priests？ It may be retorted； not without indignation； that such a thing would not happen。 Perhaps。 Yet the average man feels a risk which he will not face。 Many of us have known worthy but much married clergymen whose conjugal confidences are famous。 In consequence； rightly or wrongly； other confidences are withheld from them； and with the abolition of a one…doctrined； properly controlled； responsible and non…amateur celibate priesthood； Confession has gone out of fashion。 This； however； is by the way。
The trouble about the Roman Church is not only its notorious intolerance and bigotry； of which history tells； but the fact that some of the doctrines； as I understand them； are not to be found in the New Testament； which after all is the Christian’s only charter。 Since the Scriptures are of no private interpretation what is not written there is； so far as they are concerned； presumably non…existent。 It is this truth that keeps so many from the gates of Rome。 Perhaps in some day to e she will modify her attitude in certain directions； as we may modify ours； and the two greatest divisions of the Church of Christ will draw together again。 I trust and pray that this may be so and that thus an united front may be presented to the evil that is in the world； which lessens little； if at all； with the passage of the ages。
In the same way that I admire and respect the Roman Church do I admire and respect a Body which stands at the other religious pole — I refer to the Salvation Army。 But this Body； splendid as is its work； makes what I consider the mistake of omitting the use of the Sacraments which seem to me to be clearly enjoined by the New Testament。 As the Roman Church elaborates the sum total of the corpus of our faith； so the Salvation Army deducts from that sum。 But it has been explained to me that the late General Booth did this of set purpose； because he did not think that the people with whom he had to deal understood the Sacraments。
I do but quote these two extremes； however； each of which I think so admirable in its own fashion； as evidence of the statement with which I opened these remarks； to the effect that whatever I may or may not be； I am no bigot。 Now I will try to show why I believe in the simple and unadulterated doctrines of Christianity as these appear within the four corners of the New Testament and are preached by the Church to which I belong。
There are； of course； many varieties of what is known as Faith。 There is； for instance； the unquestioning Faith which many profess because it is there； because they inherited or were taught it in childhood。 Such persons have looked and need to look no further。 Theirs not to reason why； and they are fortunate and happy in this attitude。
Others have a more difficult experience。 When the intellect awakes it begins to question； and often enough finds no satisfactory answer。 It bees aware that all these divine events happened a long while ago； also that the evidence for them is not of a nature that forces conviction per se； at any rate at first sight。 For instance； no judge would send an accused person to gaol on the testimony which； for some purpose beyond our ken； has been considered sufficiently strong to enable mankind to accept a very wonderful story and to build thereon the hope or rather the certainties of redemption and eternal life beyond the chances and changes of this mortality。 Some are thereby entirely discouraged and； rejecting what they conclude must be a fable； set themselves sadly to make the best of things as they are； awaiting the end with resignation； with terror； or with the callous indiffer