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to himself; “nerves not in a good state。”
Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up the gravel…walk。
“Is that your mistress; nurse?” asked Mr。 Lloyd。 “I should like to speak to her before I go。”
Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast…room; and led the way out。 In the interview which followed between him and Mrs。 Reed; I presume; from after…occurrences; that the apothecary ventured to remend my being sent to school; and the remendation was no doubt readily enough adopted; for as Abbot said; in discussing the subject with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night; after I was in bed; and; as they thought; asleep; “Missis was; she dared say; glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome; ill… conditioned child; who always looked as if she were watching everybody; and scheming plots underhand。” Abbot; I think; gave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes。
On that same occasion I learned; for the first time; from Miss Abbot’s munications to Bessie; that my father had been a poor clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her friends; who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so irritated at her disobedience; he cut her off without a shilling; that after my mother and father had been married a year; the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated; and where that disease was then prevalent: that my mother took the infection from him; and both died within a month of each other。
Bessie; when she heard this narrative; sighed and said; “Poor Miss Jane is to be pitied; too; Abbot。”
“Yes;” responded Abbot; “if she were a nice; pretty child; one might passionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a little toad as that。”
“Not a great deal; to be sure;” agreed Bessie: “at any rate; a beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition。”
“Yes; I doat on Miss Georgiana!” cried the fervent Abbot。 “Little darling!—with her long curls and her blue eyes; and such a sweet colour as she has; just as if she were painted!—Bessie; I could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper。”
“So could I—with a roast onion。 e; we’ll go down。” They went。
Chapter 4
From my discourse with Mr。 Lloyd; and from the above reported conference between Bessie and Abbot; I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near;—I desired and waited it in silence。 It tarried; however: days and weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health; but no new allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded。 Mrs。 Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye; but seldom addressed me: since my illness; she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself; condemning me to take my meals alone; and pass all my time in the nursery; while my cousins were constantly in the drawing…room。 Not a hint; however; did she drop about sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance; now more than ever; when turned on me; expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion。
Eliza and Georgiana; evidently acting according to orders; spoke to me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw me; and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against him; roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before; he thought it better to desist; and ran from me tittering execrations; and vowing I had burst his nose。 I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him; I had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama。 I heard him in a blubbering tone mence the tale of how “that nasty Jane Eyre” had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather harshly—
“Don’t talk to me about her; John: I told you not to go near her; she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her。”
Here; leaning over the banister; I cried out suddenly; and without at all deliberating on my words—
“They are not fit to associate with me。”
Mrs。 Reed was rather a stout woman; but; on hearing this strange and audacious declaration; she ran nimbly up the stair; swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery; and crushing me down on the edge of my crib; dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place; or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day。
“What would Uncle Reed say to you; if he were alive?” was my scarcely voluntary demand。 I say scarcely voluntary; for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no control。
“What?” said Mrs。 Reed under her breath: her usually cold posed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm; and gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or fiend。 I was now in for it。
“My Uncle Reed is in heaven; and can see all you do and think; and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long; and how you wish me dead。”
Mrs。 Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly; she boxed both my ears; and then left me without a word。 Bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour’s length; in which she proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof。 I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging in my breast。
November; December; and half of January passed away。 Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer; presents had been interchanged; dinners and evening parties given。 From every enjoyment I was; of course; excluded: my share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana; and seeing them descend to the drawing…room; dressed out in