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简爱(英文版)-第章

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took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of Paris; and transplanted it here; to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an English country garden。 Mrs。 Fairfax found you to train it; but now you know that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French opera… girl; you will perhaps think differently of your post and protégée: you will be ing to me some day with notice that you have found another place—that you beg me to look out for a new governess; &c。—Eh?”
“No: Adèle is not answerable for either her mother’s faults or yours: I have a regard for her; and now that I know she is; in a sense; parentless—forsaken by her mother and disowned by you; sir— I shall cling closer to her than before。 How could I possibly prefer the spoilt pet of a wealthy family; who would hate her governess as a nuisance; to a lonely little orphan; who leans towards her as a friend?”
“Oh; that is the light in which you view it! Well; I must go in now; and you too: it darkens。”
But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Adèle and Pilot—ran a race with her; and played a game of battledore and shuttlecock。 When we went in; and I had removed her bon and coat; I took her on my knee; kept her there an hour; allowing her to prattle as she liked: not rebuking even some little freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt to stray when much noticed; and which betrayed in her a superficiality of character; inherited probably from her mother; hardly congenial to an English mind。 Still she had her merits; and I was disposed to appreciate all that was good in her to the utmost。 I sought in her countenance and features a likeness to Mr。 Rochester; but found none: no trait; no turn of expression announced relationship。 It was a pity: if she could but have been proved to resemble him; he would have thought more of her。
It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own chamber for the night; that I steadily reviewed the tale Mr。 Rochester had told me。 As he had said; there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of the narrative itself: a wealthy Englishman’s passion for a French dancer; and her treachery to him; were every… day matters enough; no doubt; in society; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of emotion which had suddenly seized him when he was in the act of expressing the present contentment of his mood; and his newly revived pleasure in the old hall and its environs。 I meditated wonderingly on this incident; but gradually quitting it; as I found it for the present inexplicable; I turned to the consideration of my master’s manner to myself。 The confidence he had thought fit to repose in me seemed a tribute to my discretion: I regarded and accepted it as such。 His deportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards me than at the first。 I never seemed in his way; he did not take fits of chilling hauteur: when he met me unexpectedly; the encounter seemed wele; he had always a word and sometimes a smile for me: when summoned by formal invitation to his presence; I was honoured by a cordiality of reception that made me feel I really possessed the power to amuse him; and that these evening conferences were sought as much for his pleasure as for my benefit。
I; indeed; talked paratively little; but I heard him talk with relish。 It was his nature to be municative; he liked to open to a mind unacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not mean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways; but such as derived their interest from the great scale on which they were acted; the strange novelty by which they were characterised); and I had a keen delight in receiving the new ideas he offered; in imagining the new pictures he portrayed; and following him in thought through the new regions he disclosed; never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion。
The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint: the friendly frankness; as correct as cordial; with which he treated me; drew me to him。 I felt at times as if he were my relation rather than my master: yet he was imperious sometimes still; but I did not mind that; I saw it was his way。 So happy; so gratified did I bee with this new interest added to life; that I ceased to pine after kindred: my thin crescent…destiny seemed to enlarge; the blanks of existence were filled up; my bodily health improved; I gathered flesh and strength。
And was Mr。 Rochester now ugly in my eyes? No; reader: gratitude; and many associations; all pleasurable and genial; made his face the object I best liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the brightest fire。 Yet I had not forgotten his faults; indeed; I could not; for he brought them frequently before me。 He was proud; sardonic; harsh to inferiority of every description: in my secret soul I knew that his great kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others。 He was moody; too; unaccountably so; I more than once; when sent for to read to him; found him sitting in his library alone; with his head bent on his folded arms; and; when he looked up; a morose; almost a malignant; scowl blackened his features。 But I believed that his moodiness; his harshness; and his former faults of morality (I say former; for now he seemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate。 I believed he was naturally a man of better tendencies; higher principles; and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed; education instilled; or destiny encouraged。 I thought there were excellent materials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and tangled。 I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief; whatever that was; and would have given much to assuage it。
Though I had now extinguished my candle and was laid down in bed; I could not sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue; and told how his destiny had risen up before him; and dared him to be happy at Thornfield。
“Why not?” I asked myself。 “What alienates him from the house? Will he leave it again soon? Mrs。 Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than a fortnight at a time; and he has now been resident eight weeks。 If he does go; the change will be doleful。 Suppose he should be a
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