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简爱(英文版)-第章

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ere on the disc of the clearest pla; and eyes like Miss Scatcherd’s can only see those minute defects; and are blind to the full brightness of the orb。
Chapter 8
Ere the half…hour ended; five o’clock struck; school was dismissed; and all were gone into the refectory to tea。 I now ventured to descend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor。 The spell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction took place; and soon; so overwhelming was the grief that seized me; I sank prostrate with my face to the ground。 Now I wept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself; and my tears watered the boards。 I had meant to be so good; and to do so much at Lowood: to make so many friends; to earn respect and win affection。 Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the head of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing; and to let me learn French; if I continued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then I was well received by my fellow…pupils; treated as an equal by those of my own age; and not molested by any; now; here I lay again crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?
“Never;” I thought; and ardently I wished to die。 While sobbing out this wish in broken accents; some one approached: I started up— again Helen Burns was near me; the fading fires just showed her ing up the long; vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread。
“e; eat something;” she said; but I put both away from me; feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition。 Helen regarded me; probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation; though I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud。 She sat down on the ground near me; embraced her knees with her arms; and rested her head upon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian。 I was the first who spoke—
“Helen; why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a liar?”
“Everybody; Jane? Why; there are only eighty people who have heard you called so; and the world contains hundreds of millions。”
“But what have I to do with millions? The eighty; I know; despise me。”
“Jane; you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises or dislikes you: many; I am sure; pity you much。”
“How can they pity me after what Mr。 Brocklehurst has said?”
“Mr。 Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man: he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked。 Had he treated you as an especial favourite; you would have found enemies; declared or covert; all around you; as it is; the greater number would offer you sympathy if they dared。 Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two; but friendly feelings are concealed in their hearts; and if you persevere in doing well; these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression。 Besides; Jane”—she paused。
“Well; Helen?” said I; putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers gently to warm them; and went on—
“If all the world hated you; and believed you wicked; while your own conscience approved you; and absolved you from guilt; you would not be without friends。”
“No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if others don’t love me I would rather die than live—I cannot bear to be solitary and hated; Helen。 Look here; to gain some real affection from you; or Miss Temple; or any other whom I truly love; I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken; or to let a bull toss me; or to stand behind a kicking horse; and let it dash its hoof at my chest—”
“Hush; Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive; too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame; and put life into it; has provided you with other resources than your feeble self; or than creatures feeble as you。 Besides this earth; and besides the race of men; there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us; for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us; for they are missioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame; if scorn smote us on all sides; and hatred crushed us; angels see our tortures; recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you are of this charge which Mr。 Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at second…hand from Mrs。 Reed; for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on your clear front); and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward。 Why; then; should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress; when life is so soon over; and death is so certain an entrance to happiness— to glory?”
I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness。 I felt the impression of woe as she spoke; but I could not tell whence it came; and when; having done speaking; she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough; I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her。
Resting my head on Helen’s shoulder; I put my arms round her waist; she drew me to her; and we reposed in silence。 We had not sat long thus; when another person came in。 Some heavy clouds; swept from the sky by a rising wind; had left the moon bare; and her light; streaming in through a window near; shone full both on us and on the approaching figure; which we at once recognised as Miss Temple。
“I came on purpose to find you; Jane Eyre;” said she; “I want you in my room; and as Helen Burns is with you; she may e too。”
We went; following the superintendent’s guidance; we had to thread some intricate passages; and mount a staircase before we reached her apartment; it contained a good fire; and looked cheerful。 Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm…chair on one side of the hearth; and herself taking another; she called me to her side。
“Is it all over?” she asked; looking down at my face。 “Have you cried your grief away?”
“I am afraid I never shall do that。”
“Why?”
“Because I have been wrongly accus
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