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What agony was this！ And the man seemed resolved to protract it。
“He is stone…blind；” he said at last。 “Yes； he is stone…blind； is Mr。 Edward。”
I had dreaded worse。 I had dreaded he was mad。 I summoned strength to ask what had caused this calamity。
“It was all his own courage； and a body may say； his kindness； in a way； ma’am： he wouldn’t leave the house till every one else was out before him。 As he came down the great staircase at last； after Mrs。 Rochester had flung herself from the battlements； there was a great crash—all fell。 He was taken out from under the ruins； alive； but sadly hurt： a beam had fallen in such a way as to protect him partly； but one eye was knocked out； and one hand so crushed that Mr。 Carter； the surgeon； had to amputate it directly。 The other eye inflamed： he lost the sight of that also。 He is now helpless； indeed—blind and a cripple。”
“Where is he？ Where does he now live？”
“At Ferndean； a manor…house on a farm he has； about thirty miles off： quite a desolate spot。”
“Who is with him？”
“Old John and his wife： he would have none else。 He is quite broken down； they say。”
“Have you any sort of conveyance？”
“We have a chaise； ma’am； a very handsome chaise。”
“Let it be got ready instantly； and if your post…boy can drive me to Ferndean before dark this day； I’ll pay both you and him twice the hire you usually demand。”
Chapter 37
The manor…house of Ferndean was a building of considerable antiquity； moderate size； and no architectural pretensions； deep buried in a wood。 I had heard of it before。 Mr。 Rochester often spoke of it； and sometimes went there。 His father had purchased the estate for the sake of the game covers。 He would have let the house； but could find no tenant； in consequence of its ineligible and insalubrious site。 Ferndean then remained uninhabited and unfurnished； with the exception of some two or three rooms fitted up for the acmodation of the squire when he went there in the season to shoot。
To this house I came just ere dark on an evening marked by the characteristics of sad sky； cold gale； and continued small perating rain。 The last mile I performed on foot； having dismissed the chaise and driver with the double remuneration I had promised。 Even when within a very short distance of the manor… house； you could see nothing of it； so thick and dark grew the timber of the gloomy wood about it。 Iron gates between granite pillars showed me where to enter； and passing through them； I found myself at once in the twilight of close…ranked trees。 There was a grass…grown track descending the forest aisle between hoar and knotty shafts and under branched arches。 I followed it； expecting soon to reach the dwelling； but it stretched on and on； it would far and farther： no sign of habitation or grounds was visible。
I thought I had taken a wrong direction and lost my way。 The darkness of natural as well as of sylvan dusk gathered over me。 I looked round in search of another road。 There was none： all was interwoven stem； columnar trunk； dense summer foliage—no opening anywhere。
I proceeded： at last my way opened； the trees thinned a little； presently I beheld a railing； then the house—scarce； by this dim light； distinguishable from the trees； so dank and green were its decaying walls。 Entering a portal； fastened only by a latch； I stood amidst a space of enclosed ground； from which the wood swept away in a semicircle。 There were no flowers； no garden…beds； only a broad gravel…walk girdling a grass…plat； and this set in the heavy frame of the forest。 The house presented two pointed gables in its front； the windows were latticed and narrow： the front door was narrow too； one step led up to it。 The whole looked； as the host of the Rochester Arms had said； “quite a desolate spot。” It was as still as a church on a week…day： the pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible in its vicinage。
“Can there be life here？” I asked。
Yes； life of some kind there was； for I heard a movement—that narrow front…door was unclosing； and some shape was about to issue from the grange。
It opened slowly： a figure came out into the twilight and stood on the step； a man without a hat： he stretched forth his hand as if to feel whether it rained。 Dusk as it was； I had recognised him—it was my master； Edward Fairfax Rochester； and no other。
I stayed my step； almost my breath； and stood to watch him—to examine him； myself unseen； and alas！ to him invisible。 It was a sudden meeting； and one in which rapture was kept well in check by pain。 I had no difficulty in restraining my voice from exclamation； my step from hasty advance。
His form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as ever： his port was still erect； his heir was still raven black； nor were his features altered or sunk： not in one year’s space； by any sorrow； could his athletic strength be quelled or his vigorous prime blighted。 But in his countenance I saw a change： that looked desperate and brooding—that reminded me of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird； dangerous to approach in his sullen woe。 The caged eagle； whose gold…ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished； might look as looked that sightless Samson。
And； reader； do you think I feared him in his blind ferocity？—if you do； you little know me。 A soft hope blest with my sorrow that soon I should dare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock； and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath it： but not yet。 I would not accost him yet。
He descended the one step； and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the grass…plat。 Where was his daring stride now？ Then he paused； as if he knew not which way to turn。 He lifted his hand and opened his eyelids； gazed blank； and with a straining effort； on the sky； and toward the amphitheatre of trees： one saw that all to him was void darkness。 He stretched his right hand （the left arm； the mutilated one； he kept hidden in his bosom）； he seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around him： he met but vacancy still； for the trees were some yards off where he stood。 He relinquished the endeavour； folded his arms； and stood quiet and mute in the rain； now falling fast on his uncovered head。 At this moment John