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I shook it off； all right； and got out of bed early 'cause I had eaten almost nothing the night
before and I was starving！ But as I was trucking into the
kitchen； I glanced into the family room and noticed that my dad was sacked out on the couch。
This was not good。 This was a sign of battles still in progress； and it made me feel like an
invader in my own territory。
He rolled over and kind of groaned； then curled up tighter under his skinny little quilt and
muttered some pretty unfriendly…sounding stuff into his
pillow。
I beat it into the kitchen and poured myself a killer bowl of corn flakes。 And I was about to
drown it in milk when my mother es waltzing in and
snags it away from me。 “You are going to wait； young man；” she says。 “This family is going to
have Sunday breakfast together。”
“But I'm starving！”
“So are the rest of us。 Now go！ I'm making pancakes； and you're taking a shower。 Go！”
Like a shower's going to prevent imminent starvation。
But I headed down to the bathroom； and on my way I noticed that the family room was empty。
The quilt was folded and back on the armrest； the
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pillow was gone…it was like I'd imagined the whole thing。
At breakfast my father didn't look like he'd spent the night on the couch。 No bags under his
eyes； no whiskers on his chin。 He was decked out in
tennis shorts and a lavender polo shirt； and his hair was all blown dry like it was a workday。
Personally I thought the shirt looked kind of girly； but my
mom said； “You look very nice this morning； Rick。”
My father just eyed her suspiciously。
Then my grandfather came in； saying； “Patsy； the house smells wonderful！ Good morning；
Rick。 Hi there； Bryce；” and winked at me as he sat
down and put his napkin in his lap。
“Lyn…et…ta！” my mother sang out。 “Break…fast！”
My sister appeared in a triple…X miniskirt and platform shoes； with eyes that were definitely of
the raccoon variety。 My mother gasped； but then
took a deep breath and said； “Good morning； honey。 You're… you're …I thought you were
going to church this morning with your friends。”
“I am。” Lyta scowled and sat down。
Mom brought pancakes； fried eggs； and hash browns to the table。 My father just sat there
stiff as a board for a minute； but finally he shook out his
napkin and tucked it into his collar。
“Well；” my mother said as she sat down； “I have e up with a solution to our situation。”
“Here it es …；” my father muttered； but my mother gave him a glare that shut him down
cold。
“The solution is …；” my mom said as she served herself some pancakes； “… we're going to
invite the Bakers over for dinner。”
My father blurts out； “What？”； Lyta asks； “All of them？”； I put in； “Are you serious？”； but
my grandfather heaps on another fried egg and says；
“That； Patsy； is a marvelous idea。”
“Thanks； Dad；” she says with a smile； then tells Lyta and me； “Of course I'm serious； and
yes； if Juli and the boys want to e； they'll be
invited。”
My sister starts cracking up。 “Do you know what you're saying？”
Mom smooths the napkin into her lap。 “Maybe it's about time I found out。”
Lyta turns to me and says； “She's inviting the core of Piss Poor over for dinner — oh； this
is something I really woke up expecting！”
My father shakes his head and says； “Patsy； what purpose does this serve？ So I made some
stupid cracks last night。 Is this the next phase in my
punishment？”
“It is something we should have done years ago。”
“Patsy； please。 I know you feel bad about what you found out； but an awkward dinner party
isn't going to change anything！”
My mother ran syrup all over her pancakes； popped the top closed； licked her finger； then
locked eyes with my dad。 “We are having the Bakers
over for dinner。”
And that； she didn't have to tell him； was that。
Dad took a deep breath； then sighed and said； “Whatever you want； Patsy。 Just don't say I
didn't warn you。” He took a bite of hash browns and
mumbled； “A barbecue； I suppose？”
“No； Rick。 A sit…down dinner。 Like we have when your clients e over。”
He stopped chewing。 “You're expecting them to dress up？”
Mom glared at him。 “What I'm expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always
thought you were。”
Dad went back to his potatoes。 Definitely safer than arguing with Mom。
Lyta wound up eating the entire white of a fried egg and almost a whole pancake besides。
Plain； of course； but from the way she was glutting
and giggling as she ate； it was obvious that at least she was in a good mood。
……… Page 53………
Granddad ate plenty； even for him； but I couldn't tell what he was thinking。 He was back to
looking more granite than human。 Me； I'd started tuning
in to the fact that this dinner could be more than awkward — it could be trouble。 Those rotten
eggs were back from the grave； looming large and
smelly right over my head。
Sure； Granddad knew； but no one else in my family did。 What if it came up at dinner？ I'd be
dead； fried； cluck…faced meat。
Later； as I was brushing my teeth； I considered bribing Juli。 Getting her on board so that
nobody brought up the subject of eggs。 Or maybe I could
sabotage the dinner somehow。 Make it not happen。 Yeah； I could — I stopped myself and
looked in the mirror。 What kind of wimp was I； anyway？ I
spit and headed back to find my mom。
“What is it； honey？” she asked me as she wiped off the griddle。 “You look worried。”
I double…checked to make sure my dad or Lyta wasn't lurking around somewhere； then
whispered； “Will you swear to secrecy？”
She laughed。 “I don't know about that。”
I just waited。
“What can be …；” she said； then looked at me and stopped cleaning。 “Oh； it is serious。
Honey； what's wrong？”
It had been ages since I'd voluntarily fessed up about something to my mom。 It just didn't
seem necessar