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relax my rigid muscles。 Then I stood in the shower; too tired to move;
until the hot water began to run out。
I stumbled out; wrapping myself securely in a towel; trying to hold the
heat from the water in so the aching shivers wouldn't return。 I dressed
for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt; curling into a ball; hugging
myself to keep warm。 A few small shudders trembled through me。
My mind still swirled dizzily; full of images I couldn't understand; and
some I fought to repress。 Nothing seemed clear at first; but as I fell
gradually closer to unconsciousness; a few certainties became evident。
About three things I was absolutely positive。 First; Edward was a
vampire。 Second; there was part of him — and I didn't know how potent
that part might be — that thirsted for my blood。 And third; I was
unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him。
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10。 INTERROGATIONS
It was very hard; in the morning; to argue with the part of me that was
sure last night was a dream。 Logic wasn't on my side; or mon sense。 I
clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined — like his smell。 I was sure
I could never have dreamed that up on my own。
It was foggy and dark outside my window; absolutely perfect。 He had no
reason not to be in school today。 I dressed in my heavy clothes;
remembering I didn't have a jacket。 Further proof that my memory was real。
When I got downstairs; Charlie was gone again — I was running later than
I'd realized。 I swallowed a granola bar in three bites; chased it down
with milk straight from the carton; and then hurried out the door。
Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica。
It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it。 The mist was
ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck。 I
couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck。 It was such a thick fog
that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car
in it: a silver car。 My heart thudded; stuttered; and then picked up
again in double time。
I didn't see where he came from; but suddenly he was there; pulling the
door open for me。
〃Do you want to ride with me today?〃 he asked; amused by my expression as
he caught me by surprise yet again。 There was uncertainty in his voice。
He was really giving me a choice — I was free to refuse; and part of him
hoped for that。 It was a vain hope。
〃Yes; thank you;〃 I said; trying to keep my voice calm。 As I stepped into
the warm car; I noticed his tan jacket was slung over the headrest of the
passenger seat。 The door closed behind me; and; sooner than should be
possible; he was sitting next to me; starting the car。
〃I brought the jacket for you。 I didn't want you to get sick or
something。〃 His voice was guarded。 I noticed that he wore no jacket
himself; just a light gray knit Vneck shirt with long sleeves。 Again;
the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest。 It was a colossal
tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body。
〃I'm not quite that delicate;〃 I said; but I pulled the jacket onto my
lap; pushing my arms through the toolong sleeves; curious to see if the
scent could possibly be as good as I remembered。 It was better。
〃Aren't you?〃 he contradicted in a voice so low I wasn't sure if he meant
for me to hear。
We drove through the fogshrouded streets; always too fast; feeling
awkward。 I was; at least。 Last night all the walls were down… almost all。
I didn't know if we were still being as candid today。 It left me
tonguetied。 I waited for him to speak。
He turned to smirk at me。 〃What; no twenty questions today?〃
〃Do my questions bother you?〃 I asked; relieved。
〃Not as much as your reactions do。〃 He looked like he was joking; but I
couldn't be sure。
I frowned。 〃Do I react badly?〃
〃No; that's the problem。 You take everything so coolly — it's unnatural。
It makes me wonder what you're really thinking。〃
〃I always tell you what I'm really thinking。〃
〃You edit;〃 he accused。
〃Not very much。〃
〃Enough to drive me insane。〃
〃You don't want to hear it;〃 I mumbled; almost whispered。 As soon as the
words were out; I regretted them。 The pain in my voice was very faint; I
could only hope he hadn't noticed it。
He didn't respond; and I wondered if I had ruined the mood。 His face was
unreadable as we drove into the school parking lot。 Something occurred to
me belatedly。
〃Where's the rest of your family?〃 I asked — more than glad to be alone
with him; but remembering that his car was usually full。
〃They took Rosalie's car。〃 He shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red
convertible with the top up。 〃Ostentatious; isn't it?〃
〃Um; wow;〃 I breathed。 〃If she has that; why does she ride with you?〃
〃Like I said; it's ostentatious。 We try to blend in。〃
〃You don't succeed。〃 I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the
car。 I wasn't late anymore; his lunatic driving had gotten me to school
in plenty of time。 〃So why did Rosalie drive today if it's more
conspicuous?〃
〃Hadn't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now。〃 He met me at the
front of the car; staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus。
I wanted to close that little distance; to reach out and touch him; but I
was afraid he wouldn't like me to。
〃Why do you have cars like that at all?〃 I wondered aloud。 〃If you're
looking for privacy?〃
〃An indulgence;〃 he admitted with an impish smile。 〃We all like to drive
fast。〃
〃Figures;〃 I muttered under my breath。
Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang; Jessica was waiting;
her eyes about to bug out of their sockets。 Over her arm; bless her; was
my jacket。
〃Hey; Jessica;〃 I said when we were a few feet away。 〃Thanks for
remembering。〃 She handed me my jacket without speaking。
〃Good morning; Jessica;〃 Edward said politely。 It wasn't really his fault
that his voice was so irresistible。 Or what his eyes were capable of。
〃Er… hi。〃 She shifted her wide eyes to me; trying to gather her jumbled
thought