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realized the probable cause — no one else was as aware of Edward as I
always was。 No one else watched him the way I did。 How pitiful。
Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his
firsthand account。 People avoided him as usual。 The Cullens and the Hales
sat at the same table as always； not eating； talking only among
themselves。 None of them； especially Edward； glanced my way anymore。
When he sat next to me in class； as far from me as the table would allow；
he seemed totally unaware of my presence。 Only now and then； when his
fists would suddenly ball up — skin stretched even whiter over the bones
— did I wonder if he wasn't quite as oblivious as he appeared。
He wished he hadn't pulled me from the path of Tyler's van — there was no
other conclusion I could e to。
I wanted very much to talk to him； and the day after the accident I
tried。 The last time I'd seen him； outside the ER； we'd both been so
furious。 I still was angry that he wouldn't trust me with the truth； even
though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly。 But he had in
fact saved my life； no matter how he'd done it。 And； overnight； the heat
of my anger faded into awed gratitude。
He was already seated when I got to Biology； looking straight ahead。 I
sat down； expecting him to turn toward me。 He showed no sign that he
realized I was there。
〃Hello； Edward；〃 I said pleasantly； to show him I was going to behave
myself。
He turned his head a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze； nodded
once； and then looked the other way。
And that was the last contact I'd had with him； though he was there； a
foot away from me； every day。 I watched him sometimes； unable to stop
myself— from a distance； though； in the cafeteria or parking lot。 I
watched as his golden eyes grew perceptibly darker day by day。 But in
class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me。 I
was miserable。 And the dreams continued。
Despite my outright lies； the tenor of my emails alerted Renée to my
depression； and she called a few times； worried。 I tried to convince her
it was just the weather that had me down。
Mike； at least； was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab
partner。 I could see he'd been worried that Edward's daring rescue might
have impressed me； and he was relieved that it seemed to have the
opposite effect。 He grew more confident； sitting on the edge of my table
to talk before Biology class started； ignoring Edward as pletely as he
ignored us。
The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day。 Mike
was disappointed he'd never gotten to stage his snowball fight； but
pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible。 The rain continued
heavily； though； and the weeks passed。
Jessica made me aware of another event looming on the horizon — she
called the first Tuesday of March to ask my permission to invite Mike to
the girls' choice spring dance in two weeks。
〃Are you sure you don't mind… you weren't planning to ask him？〃 she
persisted when I told her I didn't mind in the least。
〃No； Jess； I'm not going；〃 I assured her。 Dancing was glaringly outside
my range of abilities。
〃It will be really fun。〃 Her attempt to convince me was halfhearted。 I
suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my
actual pany。
〃You have fun with Mike；〃 I encouraged。
The next day； I was surprised that Jessica wasn't her usual gushing self
in Trig and Spanish。 She was silent as she walked by my side between
classes； and I was afraid to ask her why。 If Mike had turned her down； I
was the last person she would want to tell。
My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jessica sat as far from Mike
as possible； chatting animatedly with Eric。 Mike was unusually quiet。
Mike was still quiet as he walked me to class； the unfortable look on
his face a bad sign。 But he didn't broach the subject until I was in my
seat and he was perched on my desk。 As always； I was electrically aware
of Edward sitting close enough to touch； as distant as if he were merely
an invention of my imagination。
〃So；〃 Mike said； looking at the floor； 〃Jessica asked me to the spring
dance。〃
〃That's great。〃 I made my voice bright and enthusiastic。 〃You'll have a
lot of fun with Jessica。〃
〃Well…〃 He floundered as he examined my smile； clearly not happy with my
response。 〃I told her I had to think about it。〃
〃Why would you do that？〃 I let disapproval color my tone； though I was
relieved he hadn't given her an absolute no。
His face was bright red as he looked down again。 Pity shook my resolve。
〃I was wondering if… well； if you might be planning to ask me。〃
I paused for a moment； hating the wave of guilt that swept through me。
But I saw； from the corner of my eye； Edward's head tilt reflexively in
my direction。
〃Mike； I think you should tell her yes；〃 I said。
〃Did you already ask someone？〃 Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes
flickered in his direction？
〃No；〃 I assured him。 〃I'm not going to the dance at all。〃
〃Why not？〃 Mike demanded。
I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented； so I
quickly made new plans。
〃I'm going to Seattle that Saturday；〃 I explained。 I needed to get out of
town anyway — it was suddenly the perfect time to go。
〃Can't you go some other weekend？〃
〃Sorry； no；〃 I said。 〃So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer — it's
rude。〃
〃Yeah； you're right；〃 he mumbled； and turned； dejected； to walk back to
his seat。 I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples； trying
to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head。 Mr。 Banner began talking。
I sighed and opened my eyes。
And Edward was staring at me curiously； that same； familiar edge of
frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes。
I stared back； surprised； expecting him to look quickly away。 But instead
he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes。 There was no
question of me looking away。 My hands started to shake。
〃Mr。 Cullen？〃 the teacher called； seeking the answer t