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the clouds。 They were too even； too smooth。 No pictures； just a soft； gray blanket。
Edward lay next to me and held my hand。
“August thirteenth？” he asked casually after a few minutes of fortable silence。
“That gives me a month till my birthday。 I didn’t want to cut it too close。”
He sighed。 “Esme is three years older than Carlisle — technically。 Did you know that？”
I shook my head。
“It hasn’t made any difference to them。”
My voice was serene； a counterpoint to his anxiety。 “My age is not really that important。 Edward； I’m
ready。 I’ve chosen my life — now I want to start living it。”
He stroked my hair。 “The guest list veto？”
“I don’t care really； but I 。 。 。” I hesitated； not wanting to explain this one。 Best to get it over with。 “I’m not
sure if Alice would feel the need to invite 。 。 。 a few werewolves。 I don’t know if 。 。 。 Jake would feel like 。 。 。
like he should e。 Like that’s the right thing to do； or that I’d get my feelings hurt if he didn’t。 He shouldn’t
have to go through that。”
Edward was quiet for a minute。 I stared at the tips of the treetops； almost black against the light gray of the
sky。
Suddenly； Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his chest。
“Tell me why you’re doing this； Bella。 Why did you decide； now； to give Alice free reign？”
I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before I’d gone to see Jacob。
“It wouldn’t be fair to keep Charlie out of this；” I concluded。 “And that means Renée and Phil。 I might as
well let Alice have her fun； too。 Maybe itwill make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper
goodbye。 Even if he thinks it’s much too early； I wouldn’t want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me
down the aisle。” I grimaced at the words； then took another deep breath。 “At least my mom and dad and my
friends will know the best part of my choice； the most I’m allowed to tell them。 They’ll know I chose you； and
they’ll know we’re together。 They’ll know I’m happy； wherever I am。 I think that’s the best I can do for
them。”
Edward held my face； searching it for a brief time。
“Deal’s off；” he said abruptly。
“What？” I gasped。 “You’re backing out？ No！”
“I’m not backing out； Bella。 I’ll still keep my side of the bargain。 But you’re off the hook。 Whatever you
want； no strings attached。”
“Why？”
“Bella； I see what you’re doing。 You’re trying to make everyone else happy。 And I don’t care about
anyone else’s feelings。 I only need you to be happy。 Don’t worry about breaking the news to Alice。 I’ll take
care of it。 I promise she won’t make you feel guilty。”
“But I —”
“No。 We’re doing this your way。 Because my way doesn’t work。 I call you stubborn； but look at what
I’ve done。 I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what’s best for you； though it’s only hurt you。
Hurt you so deeply； time and time again。 I don’t trust myself anymore。 You can have happiness your way。 My
way is always wrong。 So。” He shifted under me； squaring his shoulders。 “We’re doing it your way； Bella。
Tonight。 Today。 The sooner the better。 I’ll speak to Carlisle。 I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough
morphine； it wouldn’t be so bad。 It’s worth a try。” He gritted his teeth。
“Edward； no —”
He put his finger to my lips。 “Don’t worry； Bella； love。 I haven’t forgotten the rest of your demands。”
His hands were in my hair； his lips moving softly — but very seriously — against mine； before I realized
what he was saying。 What he was doing。
There wasn’t much time to act。 If I waited too long； I wouldn’t be able to remember why I needed to stop
him。 Already； I couldn’t breathe right。 My hands were gripping his arms； pulling myself tighter to him； my
mouth glued to his and answering every unspoken question his asked。
I tried to clear my head； to find a way to speak。
He rolled gently； pressing me into the cool grass。
Oh； never mind！ my less noble side exulted。 My head was full of the sweetness of his breath。
No； no； no； I argued with myself。 I shook my head； and his mouth moved to my neck； giving me a chance
to breathe。
“Stop； Edward。 Wait。” My voice was as weak as my will。
“Why？” he whispered into the hollow of my throat。
I labored to put some resolve into my tone。 “I don’t want to do this now。”
“Don’t you？” he asked； a smile in his voice。 He moved his lips back to mine and made speaking
impossible。 Heat coursed through my veins； burning where my skin touched his。
I made myself focus。 It took a great deal of effort just to force my hands to free themselves from his hair；
to move them to his chest。 But I did it。 And then I shoved against him； trying to push him away。 I could not
succeed alone； but he responded as I knew he would。
He pulled back a few inches to look at me； and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve。 They were black
fire。 They smoldered。
“Why？” he asked again； his voice low and rough。 “I love you。 I want you。 Right now。”
The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat。 He took advantage of my speechlessness。
“Wait； wait；” I tried to say around his lips。
“Not for me；” he murmured in disagreement。
“Please？” I gasped。
He groaned； and pushed himself away from me； rolling onto his back again。
We both lay there for a minute； trying to slow our breathing。
“Tell me why not； Bella；” he demanded。 “This had better not be about me。”
Everything in my world was about him。 What a silly thing to expect。
“Edward； this is very important to me。 I am going to do this right。”
“Who’s definition of right？”
“Mine。”
He rolled onto his elbow and stared at me； his expression disapproving。
“How are you going to do this right？”
I took a deep breath。 “Responsibly。 Everything in the right order。 I will not leave Charlie and Renée
without the best resolution I can give them。 I won’t deny Alice her fun； if I’m having a wedding anyway。 And I
will tie myself to you in every human way； before I ask you to make me immortal。 I’m following all the rules；
Edward。 Your soul is far； far too important to me to