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We glowered at each other。
“You wanted to know；” I pointed out。
“I thought it would be something faintly realistic。”
“So you can ask for any stupid； ridiculous thing you want — like getting married — but I’m not allowed
to even discuss what I —”
While I was ranting； he pulled my hands together to restrain them in just one of his； and put his other hand
over my mouth。
“No。” His face was hard。
I took a deep breath to steady myself。 And； as the anger began to fade； I felt something else。
It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring down again； the blush returning — why my stomach
felt uneasy； why there was too much moisture in my eyes； why I suddenly wanted to run from the room。
Rejection washed through me； instinctive and strong。
I knew it was irrational。 He’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor。 Yet
I’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before。 I scowled at the golden forter that matched his eyes and
tried to banish the reflex reaction that told me I was unwanted and unwantable。
Edward sighed。 The hand over my mouth moved under my chin； and he pulled my face up until I had to
look at him。
“What now？”
“Nothing；” I mumbled。
He scrutinized my face for long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze。 His brow
furrowed； and his expression became horrified。
“Did I hurt your feelings？” he asked； shocked。
“No；” I lied。
So quickly that I wasn’t even sure how it happened； I was in his arms； my face cradled between his
shoulder and his hand； while his thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek。
“You know why I have to say no；” he murmured。 “You know that I want you； too。”
“Do you？” I whispered； my voice full of doubt。
“Of course I do； you silly； beautiful； oversensitive girl。” He laughed once； and then his voice was bleak。
“Doesn’t everyone？ I feel like there’s a line behind me； jockeying for position； waiting for me to make a big
enough mistake。 。 。 。 You’re too desirable for your own good。”
“Who’s being silly now？” I doubted if awkward； selfconscious； and inept added up to desirable in
anyone’s book。
“Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe？ Shall I tell you whose names would be on the
top of the list？ You know a few of them； but some might surprise you。”
I shook my head against his chest； grimacing。 “You’re just trying to distract me。 Let’s get back to the
subject。”
He sighed。
“Tell me if I have anything wrong。” I tried to sound detached。 “Your demands are marriage” — I couldn’t
say the word without making a face — “paying my tuition； more time； and you wouldn’t mind if myvehicle
went a little faster。” I raised my eyebrows。 “Did I get everything？ That’s a hefty list。”
“Only the first is a demand。” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face。 “The others are
merely requests。”
“And my lone； solitary little demand is —”
“Demand？” he interrupted； suddenly serious again。
“Yes； demand。”
His eyes narrowed。
“Getting married is a stretch for me。 I’m not giving in unless I get something in return。”
He leaned down to whisper in my ear。 “No；” he murmured silkily。 “It’s not possible now。 Later； when
you’re less breakable。 Be patient； Bella。”
I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable。 “But that’s the problem。 It won’t be the same when I’m less
breakable。 I won’t be the same！ I don’t know who I’ll be then。”
“You’ll still be Bella；” he promised。
I frowned。 “If I’m so far gone that I’d want to kill Charlie — that I’d drink Jacob’s blood or Angela’s if I
got the chance — how can that be true？”
“It will pass。 And I doubt you’ll want to drink the dog’s blood。” He pretended to shudder at the thought。
“Even as a newborn； you’ll have better taste than that。”
I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me。 “But that will always be what I want most； won’t it？” I challenged。
“Blood； blood； and more blood！”
“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true；” he pointed out。
“Over eighty years later；” I reminded him。 “What I meant was physically； though。 Intellectually； I know I’ll
be able to be myself 。 。 。 after a while。 But just purely physically — I will always be thirsty； more than anything
else。”
He didn’t answer。
“So I will be different；” I concluded unopposed。 “Because right now； physically； there’s nothing I want
more than you。 More than food or water or oxygen。 Intellectually； I have my priorities in a slightly more
sensible order。 But physically 。 。 。”
I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand。
He took a deep breath。 I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady。
“Bella； I could kill you；” he whispered。
“I don’t think you could。”
Edward’s eyes tightened。 He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself for
something I couldn’t see。 There was a muffled snapping sound； and the bed quivered beneath us。
Something dark was in his hand； he held it up for my curious examination。 It was a metal flower； one of the
roses that adorned the wrought iron posts and canopy of his bed frame。 His hand closed for a brief second；
his fingers contracting gently； and then it opened again。
Without a word； he offered me the crushed； uneven lump of black metal。 It was a cast of the inside of his
hand； like a piece of play dough squeezed in a child’s fist。 A halfsecond passed； and the shape crumbled into
black sand in his palm。
I glared。 “That’s not what I meant。 I already know how strong you are。 You didn’t have to break the
furniture。”
“What did you mean then？” he asked in a dark voice； tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the
room； it hit the wall with a sound like rain。
His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain。
“Obviously not that you aren’t physically able hurt me； if you wanted to 。 。 。 More that； you don’t want to
hurt me 。 。 。 so much so that I don’t think that you ever could。”
He started shaking his head before I was done。
“It might not work like that； Bella。”
“Migh