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2 new+moon新月-第章

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didn't see any animals—no birds; no squirrels。 I couldn't hear any birds; either。 The silence was eerie; 
there wasn't even the sound of wind in the trees。 

I knew it was all just a product of the weather; but it still made me edgy。 The heavy; warm pressure of 
the atmosphere was perceptible even to my weak human senses; and it hinted at something major in the 
storm department。 A glance at the sky backed this up; the clouds were churning sluggishly despite the 
lack of breeze on the ground。 The closest clouds were a smoky gray; but between the cracks I could see 
another layer that was a gruesome purple color。 The skies had a ferocious plan in store for today。 The 
animals must be bunkering down。 

As soon as I reached the beach; I wished I hadn't e—I'd already had enough of this place。 I'd been 
here almost every day; wandering alone。 Was it so much different from my nightmares? But where else to 
go? I trudged down to the driftwood tree; and sat at the end so that I could lean against the tangled 
roots。 I stared up at the angry sky broodingly; waiting for the first drops to break the stillness。 

I tried not to think about the danger Jacob and his friends were in。 Because nothing could happen to 
Jacob。 The thought was unendurable。 I'd lost too much already—would fate take the last few shreds of 
peace left behind? That seemed unfair; out of balance。 But maybe I'd violated some unknown rule; 
crossed some line that had condemned me。 Maybe it was wrong to be so involved with myths and 
legends; to turn my back on the human world。 Maybe… 

No。 Nothing would happen to Jacob。 I had to believe that or I wouldn't be able to function。 

〃Argh!〃 I groaned; and jumped off the log。 I couldn't sit still; it was worse than pacing。 

I'd really been counting on hearing Edward this morning。 It seemed like that was the one thing that might 
make it bearable to live through this day。 The hole had been festering lately; like it was getting revenge for 
the times that Jacob's presence had tamed it。 The edges burned。 

The waves picked up as I paced; beginning to crash against the rocks; but there was still no wind。 I felt 
pinned down by the pressure of the storm。 Everything swirled around me; but it was perfectly still where I 
stood。 The air had a faint electric charge—I could feel the static in my hair。 

Farther out; the waves were angrier than they were along the shore。 I could see them battering against the 
line of the cliffs; spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky。 There was still no movement in the 
air; though the clouds roiled more quickly now。 It was eerie looking—like the clouds were moving by 
their own will。 I shivered; though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure。 

The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky。 Staring at them; I remembered the day Jacob had 
told me about Sam and his 〃gang。〃 I thought of the boys—the werewolves—throwing themselves into the 
empty air。 The image of the falling; spiraling figures was still vivid in my mind。 I imagined the utter freedom 
of the fall… I imagined the way Edward's voice would have sounded in my head—furious; velvet; 
perfect… The burning in my chest flared agonizingly。 

There had to be some way to quench it。 The pain was growing more and more intolerable by the second。 
I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves。 

Well; why not? Why not quench it right now? 

Jacob had promised me cliff diving; hadn't he? Just because he was unavailable; should I have to give up 
the distraction I needed so badly—needed even worse because Jacob was out risking his life? Risking it; 
in essence; for me。 If it weren't for me; Victoria would not be killing people here… just somewhere else; 
far away。 If anything happened to Jacob; it would be my fault。 That realization stabbed deep and had me 
jogging back up to the road toward Billy's house; where my truck waited。 

I knew my way to the lane that passed closest to the cliffs; but I had to hunt for the little path that would 
take me out to the ledge。 As I followed it; I looked for turns or forks; knowing that Jake had planned to 
take me off the lower outcropping rather than the top; but the path wound in a thin single line toward the 
brink with no options。 I didn't have time to find another way down—the storm was moving in quickly 
now。 The wind was finally beginning to touch me; the clouds pressing closer to the ground。 Just as I 
reached the place where the dirt path fanned out into the stone precipice; the first drops broke through 
and splattered on my face。 

It was not hard to convince myself that I didn't have time to search for another way—I wanted to jump 
from the top。 This was the image that had lingered in my head。 I wanted the long fall that would feel like 
flying。 

I knew that this was the stupidest; most reckless thing I had done yet。 The thought made me smile。 The 
pain was already easing; as if my body knew that Edward's voice was just seconds away… 

The ocean sounded very far away; somehow farther than before; when I was on the path in the trees。 I 
grimaced when I thought of the probable temperature of the water。 But I wasn't going to let that stop me。 

The wind blew stronger now; whipping the rain into eddies around me。 

I stepped out to the edge; keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me。 My toes felt ahead blindly; 
caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it。 I drew in a deep breath and held it 。 。 waiting。 

〃Bella。〃 

I smiled and exhaled。 

Yes? I didn't answer out loud; for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion。 He 
sounded so real; so close。 It was only when lie was disapproving like this that I could hear the true 
memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all 
voices。 

〃Don't do this;〃 he pleaded。 

You wanted me to be human; I reminded him。 Well; watch me。 

〃Please。 For me。〃 

But you won't stay with me any other way。 

〃Please。〃 It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes—making 
me as wet as if this were my seco
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