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2 new+moon新月-第章

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only remember the one story;〃 he added in a sarcastic; bitter tone。 He plunked back onto the mattress 
beside me。 〃Do you mind if I ask you a question about that?〃 he asked; still sarcastic。 〃I've been dying ro 
know。〃 

〃A question about what?〃 I asked warily。 

〃About the vampire story I told you。〃 

I stared at him with guarded eyes; unable to answer。 He asked his question anyway。 

〃Did you honestly not know?〃 he asked me; his voice turning husky。 〃Was I the one who told you what 
he was?〃 

How did he know this? Why did he decide to believe; why now? My teeth clenched together。 I stared 
back at him; no intention of speaking。 He could see that。 

〃See what I mean about loyalty?〃 he murmured; even huskier now。 〃It's the same for me; only worse。 
You can't imagine how tight I'm bound…〃 

I didn't like that—didn't like the way his eyes closed as if he were in pain when he spoke of being bound。 
More than dislike—I realized I hated it; hated anything that caused him pain。 Hated it fiercely。 

Sam's face filled my mind。 

For me; this was all essentially voluntary。 I protected the Cullens' secret out of love; unrequited; but true。 
For Jacob; it didn't seem to be that way。 

〃Isn't there any way for you to get free?〃 I whispered; touching the rough edge at the back of his shorn 
hair。 

His hands began to tremble; but he didn't open his eyes。 〃No。 I'm in this for life。 A life sentence。〃 A bleak 
laugh。 〃Longer; maybe。〃 

〃No; Jake;〃 I moaned。 〃What if we ran away? Just you and me。 What if we left home; and left Sam 
behind?〃 

〃It's not something I can run away from; Bella;〃 he whispered。 〃I would run with you; though; if I could。〃 
His shoulders were shaking now; too。 He took a deep breath。 〃Look; I've got to leave。〃 

〃Why?〃 

〃For one thing; you look like you're going to pass out at any second。 You need your sleep—I need you 
firing on all pistons。 You're going to figure this out; you have to。〃 

〃And why else?〃 

He frowned。 〃I had to sneak out—I'm not supposed to see you。 They've got to be wondering where I 
am。〃 His mouth twisted。 〃I suppose I should go let them know。〃 

〃You don't have to tell them anything;〃 I hissed。 

〃All the same; I will。〃 

The anger flashed hot inside me。 〃I hate them!〃 

Jacob looked at me with wide eyes; surprised。 〃No; Bella。 Don't hate the guys。 It's not Sam's or any of 
the others' faults。 I told you before—it's me。 Sam is actually… well; incredibly cool。 Jared and Paul are 
great; too; though Paul is kind of… And Embry's always been my friend。 Nothing's changed there—the 
only thing that hasn't changed。 I feel really bad abour the things I used to think about Sam…〃 

〃Sam was incredibly cool。〃 I glared at him in disbelief; but let it go。 

〃Then why aren't you supposed to see me?〃 I demanded。 

〃It's not safe;〃 he mumbled looking down。 

His words sent a thrill of fear through me。 

Did he know that; too? Nobody knew that besides me。 But he was right—it was the middle of the night; 
the perfect time for hunting。 Jacob shouldn't be here in my room。 If someone came for me; I had :o be 
alone。 

〃If I thought it was too… too risky;〃 he whispered; 〃I wouldn't have e。 But Bella;〃 he looked at me 
again; 〃I made you a promise。 I had no idea it would be so hard to keep; but that doesn't mean I'm not 
going to try。〃 

He saw the inprehension in my face。 〃After that stupid movie;〃 he reminded me。 〃I promised you that 
I wouldn't ever hurt you… So I really blew it this afternoon; didn't I?〃 

〃I know you didn't want to do it; Jake。 It's okay。〃 

〃Thanks; Bella。〃 He took my hand。 〃I'm going to do what I can to be here for you; just like I promised。〃 
He grinned at me suddenly。 The grin was not mine; nor Sam's; but some strange bination of the two。 
〃It would really help if you could figure this out on your own; Bella。 Put some honest effort into it。〃 

I made a weak grimace。 〃I'll try。〃 

〃And I'll try to see you soon。〃 He sighed。 〃And they'll try to talk me out of that。〃 

〃Don't listen to them。〃 

〃I'll try。〃 He shook his head; as if he doubted his success。 〃e and tell me as soon as you figure it out。〃 
Something occurred to him just then; something that made his hands shake。 〃If you… if you want to。〃 

〃Why wouldn't I want to see you?〃 

His face turned hard and bitter; one hundred percent the face that belonged to Sam。 〃Oh; I can think of a 
reason;〃 he said in a harsh tone。 〃Look; I really have to go。 Could you do something for me?〃 

I just nodded; frightened of the change in him。 

〃At least call me—if you don't want to see me again。 Let me know if it's like that。〃 

〃That won't happen—〃 

He raised one hand; cutting me off。 〃Just let me know。〃 

He stood and headed for the window。 

〃Don't be an idiot; Jake;〃 I plained。 〃You'll break your leg。 Use the door。 Charlie's not going to catch 
you。〃 

〃I won't get hurt;〃 he muttered; but he turned for the door。 He hesitated as he passed me; staring at me 
with an expression like something was stabbing him。 He held one hand out; pleading。 

I took his hand; and suddenly he yanked me—too roughly—right off the bed so that I thudded against his 
chest。 

〃Just in case;〃 he muttered against my hair; crushing me in a bear hug that about broke my ribs。 

〃Can't—breathe!〃 I gasped。 

He dropped me at once; keeping one hand at my waist so I didn't fall over。 He pushed me; more gently 
this time; back down on the bed。 

〃Get some sleep; Bells。 You've got to get your head working。 I know you can do this。 I need you。 to 
understand。 I won't lose you; Bella。 Not for this。〃 

He was to the door in one stride; opening it quietly; and then disappearing through it。 I listened for him to 
hit the squeaky step in the stairs; but there was no sound。 

I lay back on my bed; my head spinning。 I was too confused; too worn out。 I closed my eyes; trying to 
make sense of it; only to be swallowed up by unconsciousness so swiftly that it was disorienting。 

It was not the peaceful; creamless sleep I'd yearned for—of course not。 I was in the forest again; and I 
started to wander the way I always did。 

I quickly became a
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