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you can watch that kid growing！ He gets bigger every time I see him。〃
〃Billy said Jake and his friends were going up to Port Angeles to see some movies。 They were probably
just waiting for someone to meet them。〃
〃Oh。〃 Charlie nodded and headed for the kitchen。
I stood in the hall； thinking about Jacob arguing with his friends。 I wondered if he had confronted Embry
about the situation with Sam。 Maybe that was the reason he'd ditched me today—if it meant he could
sort things out with Embry； I was glad he had。
I paused to check the locks again before I went to my room。 It was a silly thing to do。 What difference
would a lock make to any of the monsters I'd seen this afternoon？ I assumed the handle alone would
stymie the wolves； not having opposable thumbs。 And if Laurent came here…
Or… Victoria。
I lay down on my bed； but I was shaking too hard to hope for sleep。 I curled into a cramped ball under
my quilt； and faced the horrifying facts。
There was nothing I could do。 There were no precautions I could take。 There was no place I could hide。
There was no one who could help me。
I realized； with a nauseous roll of my stomach； that the situation was worse than even that。 Because all
those facts applied to Charlie； too。 My father； sleeping one room away from me； was just a hairsbreadth
off the heart of the target that was centered on me。 My scent would lead them here； whether I was here
or not。
The tremors rocked me until my teeth chattered。
To calm myself； I fantasized the impossible： I imagined the big wolves catching up to Laurent in the
woods and massacring the indestructible immortal the way they would any normal person。 Despite the
absurdity of such a vision； the idea forted me。 If the wolves got him； then he couldn't tell Victoria I
was here all alone。 If he didn't return； maybe she'd think the Cullens were still protecting me。 If only the
wolves could win such a fight…
My good vampires were never ing back； how soothing it was to imagine that the other kind could
also disappear。
I squeezed my eyes tight together and waited for unconsciousness—almost eager for my nightmare to
start。 Better that than the pale； beautiful face that smiled at me now from behind my lids。
In my imagination； Victoria's eyes were black with thirst； bright with anticipation； and her lips curled back
from her gleaming teeth in pleasure。 Her red hair was brilliant as fire； it blew chaotically around her wild
face。
Laurent's words repeated in my head。 If you knew what she had planned for you …
I pressed my fist against my mouth to keep from screaming。
11。 CULT
EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and realized I'd lived through
another night was a surprise to me。 After the surprise wore off； my heart would start to race and my
palms would sweat； I couldn't really breathe again until I'd gotten up and ascertained that Charlie had
survived as well。
I could tell he was worried—watching me jump at any loud sound； or my face suddenly go white for no
reason that he could see。 From the questions he asked now and then； he seemed to blame the change on
Jacob's continued absence。
The terror that was always foremost in my thoughts usually distracted me from the fact that another week
had passed； and Jacob still hadn't called me。 But when I was able to concentrate on my normal life—if
my life was really ever normal—this upset me。
I missed him horribly。
It had been bad enough to be alone before I was scared silly。 Now； more than ever； I yearned for his
carefree laugh and his infectious grin。 I needed the safe sanity of his homemade garage and his warm
hand around my cold fingers。
I'd half expected him to call on Monday。 If there had been some progress with Embry； wouldn't he want
to report it？ I wanted to believe that it was worry for his friend that was occupying all his time； not that he
was just giving up on me。
I called him Tuesday； but no one answered。 Were the phone lines still having problems？ Or had Billy
invested in caller I。D。？
On Wednesday I called every half hour until after eleven at night； desperate to hear the warmth of
Jacob's voice。
Thursday I sat in my truck in front of my house—with the locks pushed down—keys in hand； for a solid
hour。 I was arguing with myself； trying to justify a quick trip to La Push； but I couldn't do it。
I knew that Laurent had gone back to Victoria by now。 If I went to La Push； I took the chance of leading
one of them there。 What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby？ As much as it hurt me； I knew it
was better for Jacob that he was avoiding me。 Safer for him。
It was bad enough that I couldn't figure out a way to keep Charlie safe。 Nighttime was the most likely
time that they would e looking ior me； and what could I say to get Charlie out of the house？ If I told
him the truth； he'd have me locked up in a rubber room somewhere。 I would have endured
that—weled it； even—if it could have kept him safe。 But Victoria would still e to his house first；
looking for me。 Maybe； if she found me here； that would be enough for her。 Maybe she would just leave
when she was done with me。
So I couldn't run away。 Even if I could； where would I go？ To Renee？ I shuddered at the thought of
dragging my lethal shadows into my mother's safe； sunny world。 I would never endanger her that way。
The worry was eating a hole in my stomach。 Soon I would have matching punctures。
That night； Charlie did me another favor and called Harry again to see if the Blacks were out of town。
Harry reported that Billy had attended the council meeting Wednesday night； and never mentioned
anything about leaving。 Charlie warned me not to make a nuisance of myself—Jacob would call when he
got around to it。
Friday afternoon； as I drove home from school； it hit me out of the blue。
I wasn't paying attention to the familiar road； letting the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence
the worries； when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must have been working on for some time
without my knowledge。
As soon as I t