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only some way to make you see that I can't leave you；〃 he whispered。 〃Time； I suppose； will be the way
to convince you。〃
I liked the idea of time。 〃Okay；〃 I agreed。
His face was still tormented。 I tried to distract him with inconsequentials。
〃So—since you're staying。 Can I have my stuff back？〃 I asked； making my tone as light as I could
manage。
My attempt worked； to an extent： he laughed。 But his eyes retained the misery。 〃Your things were never
gone；〃 he told me。 〃I knew it was wrong； since I promised you peace without reminders。 It was stupid
and childish； but I wanted to leave something of myself with you。 The CD； the pictures； the
tickets—they're all under your floorboards。〃
〃Really？〃
He nodded； seeming slightly cheered by my obvious pleasure in this trivial fact。 It wasn't enough to heal
the pain in his face pletely。
〃I think；〃 I said slowly； 〃I'm not sure； but I wonder… I think maybe I knew it the whole time。〃
〃What did you know？〃
I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes； but as I spoke the words； they sounded truer than I
expected they would。
〃Some part of me； my subconscious maybe； never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived
or died。 That's probably why I was hearing the voices。〃
There was a very deep silence for a moment。 〃Voices？〃 he asked flatly。
〃Well； just one voice。 Yours。 It's a long story。〃 The wary look on his face made me wish that I hadn't
brought that up。 Would he think I was crazy； like everyone else？ Was everyone else right about that？ But
at least that expression—the one that made him look like something was burning him—faded。
〃I've got time。〃 His voice was unnaturally even。
〃It's pretty pathetic。〃
He waited。
I wasn't sure how to explain。 〃Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports？〃
He spoke the words without inflection or emphasis。 〃You jumped off a cliff for fun。〃
〃Er； right。 And before that； with the motorcycle—〃
〃Motorcycle？〃 he asked。 I knew his voice well enough to hear something brewing behind the calm。
〃I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part。〃
〃No。〃
〃Well； about that… See； I found that… when I was doing something dangerous or stupid… I could
remember you more clearly；〃 I confessed； feeling pletely mental。 〃I could remember how your voice
sounded when you were angry。 I could hear it； like you were standing right there next to me。 Mostly I
tried not to think about you； but this didn't hurt so much—it was like you were protecting me again。 Like
you didn't want me to be hurt。
〃And； well； I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because； underneath it all。 I always
knew that you hadn't stopped loving me。〃
Again； as I spoke； the words brought with them a sense of conviction。 Of rightness。 Some deep place
inside me recognized truth。
His words came out halfstrangled。 〃You… were… risking your life… to hear—〃
〃Shh；〃 I interrupted him。 〃Hold on a second。 I think I'm having an epiphany here。〃
I thought of that night in Port Angeles when I'd had my first delusion。 I'd e up with two options。
Insanity or wish fulfillment。 I'd seen no third option。
But what if…
What if you sincerely believed something was true； but you were dead wrong？ What if you were so
stubbornly sure that you were right； that you wouldn't even consider the truth？ Would the truth be
silenced； or would it try to break through？
Option three： Edward loved me。 The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by
absence； distance； or time。 And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than
me he might be； he was as irreversibly altered as I was。 As I would always belong to him； so would he
always be mine。
Was that what I'd been trying to tell myself？
〃Oh！〃
〃Bella？〃
〃Oh。 Okay。 I see。〃
〃Your epiphany？〃 he asked； his voice uneven and strained。
〃You love me；〃 I marveled。 The sense of conviction and Tightness washed through me again。
Though his eyes were still anxious； the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face。 〃Truly； I do。〃
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs。 It filled my chest and blocked my throat
so that I could not speak。
He really did want me the way I wanted him—forever。 It was only fear for my soul； for the human things
he didn't want to take from me； that made him so desperate to leave me mortal。 pared to the fear
that he didn't want me； this hurdle—my soul—seemed almost insignificant。
He took my face tightly between his cool hands and kissed me until I was so dizzy the forest was
spinning。 Then he leaned his forehead against mine； and I was not the only one breathing harder than
usual。
〃You were better at it than I was； you know；〃 he told me。
〃Better at what？〃
〃Surviving。 You； at least； made an effort。 You got up in the morning； tried to be normal for Charlie；
followed the pattern of your life。 When I wasn't actively tracking； I was… totally useless。 I couldn't be
around my family—I couldn't be around anyone。 I'm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up
into a ball and let the misery have me。〃 He grinned； sheepish。 〃It was much more pathetic than hearing
voices。 And； of course； you know I do that； too。〃
I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understand—forted that this all made sense to him。 At
any rate； he wasn't looking at me like I was crazy。 He was looking at me like… he loved me。
〃I only heard one voice；〃 I corrected him。
He laughed and then pulled me tight against his right side and started to lead me forward。
〃I'm just humoring you with this。〃 He motioned broadly with his hand toward the darkness in front of us
as we walked。 There was something pale and immense there—the house； I realized。 〃It doesn't matter in
the slightest what they say。〃
〃This affects them now； too。〃
He shrugged indifferently。
He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on。 The room was just
as I'd remembered it—the piano and the white couches and the pale； massive staircase。 No dus