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blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really； truly here with me；
and I was wasting time being an idiot。
〃Did all of that really happen； then？〃 It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality。 I couldn't
wrap my head around the concept。
〃That depends。〃 Edward's smile was still hard。 〃If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy；
then； yes。〃
〃How strange；〃 I mused。 〃I really went to Italy。 Did you know I'd never been farther east than
Albuquerque？〃
He rolled his eyes。 〃Maybe you should go back to sleep。 You're not coherent。〃
〃I'm not tired anymore。〃 It was all ing clear now。 〃What time is it？ How long have I been sleeping？〃
〃It's just after one in the morning。 So； about fourteen hours。〃
I stretched as he spoke。 I was so stiff。
〃Charlie？〃 I asked。
Edward frowned。 〃Sleeping。 You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now。 Well； not
technically； since he said I was never to walk through his door again； and I came in the window… But；
still； the intent was clear。〃
〃Charlie banned you from the house？〃 I asked； disbelief quickly melting into fury。
His eyes were sad。 〃Did you expect anything else？〃
My eyes were mad。 I was going to have a few words with my father—perhaps it would be a good time
to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood。 It didn't matter so much； of course； except in
principle。 All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition。 I turned my thoughts to less painful
avenues。
〃What's the story？〃 I asked； genuinely curious； but also trying desperately to keep the conversation
casual； to keep a firm grip on myself； so I wouldn't scare him away with the frantic； gnawing craving that
was raging inside me。
〃What do you mean？〃
〃What am I telling Charlie？ What's my excuse for disappearing for… how long was I gone； anyway？〃 I
tried to count the hours in my head。
〃Just three days。〃 His eyes tightened； but he smiled more naturally this time。 〃Actually； I was hoping you
might have a good explanation。 I've got nothing。〃
I groaned。 〃Fabulous。〃
〃Well； maybe Alice will e up with something；〃 he offered； trying to fort me。
And I was forted。 Who cared what I had to deal with later？ Every second that he was here—so
close； his flawless face glowing in the dim light from the numbers on my alarm clock—was precious and
not to be wasted。
〃So；〃 I began； picking the least important—though still vitally interesting—question to start with。 I was
safely delivered home； and he might decide to leave at any moment。 I had to keep him talking。 Besides；
this temporary heaven wasn't entirely plete without the sound of his voice。 〃What have you been
doing； up until three days ago？〃
His face turned wary in an instant。 〃Nothing terribly exciting。〃
〃Of course not；〃 I mumbled。
〃Why are you making that face？〃
〃Well…〃 I pursed my lips； considering。 〃If you were； after all； just a dream； that's exactly the kind of thing
you would say。 My imagination must be used up。〃
He sighed。 〃If I tell you； will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare？〃
〃Nightmare！〃 I repeated scornfully。 He waited for my answer。 〃Maybe；〃 I said after a second of thought。
〃If you tell me。〃
〃I was… hunting。〃
〃Is that the best you can do？〃 I criticized。 〃That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake。〃
He hesitated； and then spoke slowly； choosing his words with care。 〃I wasn't hunting fot food… I was
actually trying my hand at… tracking。 I'm not very good at it。〃
〃What were you tracking？〃 I asked； intrigued。
〃Nothing of consequence。〃 His words didn't match his expression； he looked upset； unfortable。
〃I don't understand。〃
He hesitated； his face； shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock； was torn。
〃I—〃 He took a deep breath。 〃I owe you an apology。 No； of course I owe you much； much more than
that。 But you have to know；〃—the words began to flow so fast； the way I remembered he spoke
sometimes when he was agitated； that I really had to concentrate to catch them all—〃that I had no idea。 I
didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind。 I thought it was safe for you here。 So safe。 I had no idea that
Victoria；〃—his lips curled back when he said the name—〃would e back。 I'll admit； when I saw her
that one time； I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts。 But I just didn't see that she had this
kind of response in her。 That she even had such a tie to him。 I think I realize why now—she was so sure
of him； the thought of him failing never occurred to her。 It was her overconfidence that clouded her
feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them； the bond there。
〃Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face。 When I heard what you told Alice—what she
saw herself—when I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of werewolves； immature； volatile；
the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself—he shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short
second。 〃Please know that I had no idea of any of this。 I feel sick； sick to my core； even now； when I can
see and feel you safe in my arms。 I am the most miserable excuse for—〃
〃Stop；〃 I interrupted him。 He stared at me with agonized eyes； and I tried to find the right words—the
words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain。 They were very
hard words to say。 I didn't know if I could get them out without breaking down。 But I had to try to do it
right。 I didn't want to be a source of guilt and anguish in his life。 He should be happy； no matter what it
cost me。
I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation。 It was going to bring things to an end so
much sooner。
Drawing on all my months of practice with trying to be normal for Charlie； I kept my face smooth。
〃Edward；〃 I said。 His name burned my throat a little on the way out。 I could feel the ghost of the hole；
waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he disappeared。 I didn't quite see how I was going to survive it
this time。 〃This has